My thoughts are muuuuch slower tonight. Probably because I need to eat. Probably because I am tired. Probably because it's natural to have the brain unwind at nighttime. I forget to trust my body and the rhythms and the cycles. Or maybe I don't forget, I just fear letting go of control. But I am ready to let go of control and start being about 187% more spontaneous and impulsive, as long as that impulsivity does not involve my hair. No, Meggie, no more dying or cutting or banging. I mean, no more cutting bangs. Banging in the wink wink nudge nudge way might just be what the doctor ordered. Oh, so you are a doctor? Well, I am a nurse. Let me just slip into something more nurse-like and super revealing and trashy...
Oh dear. My parents read this blog. Let me very quickly change the subject. Texas. My newest life plan for about 4 hours was to move to Austin. No, not because of anything related to SXSW or sleeve tattoos or fried okra (although the fried okra alone would be reason enough to pack my bags). No, just because. Just because I am too comfortable. Just because I am beginning to feel as though I have given up or at least retired at the age of 30. Just because I am fascinated thinking about the folks out there that could enter my life. That really hidden rebellious side of me craves taking those chances and creating my own destiny. I seem to just passively sit on the sidelines and let life slip by. Yikes. That strikes fear in my heart.
THEN AGAIN... I need stability and predictability right now. Or do I? No, seriously -- do I? Or is calculated stupidity what would serve me the best right now? I've played it safe my entire life (aside from brief periods in my now-infamous 20s) and, well, yawn.
Will you backpack with me through Europe? Want to start a commune? Can we be roomies in a brand new city? Give me the thumbs up and I'll be out the door. Let's go.