Friday, March 6, 2015


Things I wish not to write about anymore:

Writer's block.
Feelin' weird.
Feelin' anxious.
Feelin' stuff.

Okay, the last three are okay. Okay, I used "okay" too much in that last sentence. Okay, let's stop judging ourselves and each other over every little thing. Okay.

Note to self: Do not jokingly tweet about getting naked in some hot springs because then you will get unwanted late-night (or early morning) texts from random men you've never met telling you to not peek when you are both in the hot springs together. That, my pals, is creepy. Then again, tweet whatever the fudge you want! Eat whatever you want! Even if it's fudge! I've never really liked fudge. I don't crave sweet things too often. It's the salty and savory that has my stomach getting naked and jumping into the hot springs of desire. Give me a hearty stew and I'll give you my heart.

Remember how yesterday was awesome? It was almost offensively good. Which is awful news for today. But it doesn't have to be! Right? It's that whole every-other-day-is-a-nightmare thing. It has become a predictable pattern, which means I have the opportunity to come up with some coping skills. I can prepare for the crumminess! I can hold on tight while train goes off track -- or, hell, if I'm feeling ambitious enough I can even attempt to put on my cape and conductor's hat and steer it back on course. Of course.

I will do that today! I will! I will! I will! I will stop letting other people drain me. I will stop letting myself drain myself. I will stop avoiding cleaning out the drain in the bathroom and just, like, drain it, man. There are three things on today's to do list: "Don't drain, don't drain, drain." I think I will be able to check those off.

To tell you the truth (because when don't I?!), I have stopped making to do lists. I needed a break. There is value in writing down those tasks which need to be completed, SURE, but I began to overwhelm myself. The tasks were many and they ranged from the smallest (fill up ice cube tray) to the largest (move to South Africa). And there was no order to the lists. And they were written on any kind of paper I could find. And that's why I need to take a to do list break. Or at least learn better organizational skills. So on my other random to do list today I have the following: stop making to do lists, learn better organizational skills, fill up ice cube tray, become fluent in Mandarin Chinese, eat breakfast.

But I probably won't eat breakfast. I don't think I'm hungry. I think I'm feeling cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo instead. Think! Feel! Don't know!

Today is Friday. I have an unopened box of Fruity Pebbles waiting for me when I'm ready. The sun is out, my fingers can bend, and my bangs are finally growing. How can it not be a rad-as-fudge day?

Be kind to yourself.

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