respite

There were so many opportunities for today to be rough. It was a blizzard this morning! And driving in snow makes me anxious! But I did it anyway and it was totally fine. My boring coworker started talking to me about her math class for the millionth time! And those conversations kill my soul! But I paid attention, sorta, and mentally took notes because she may end up being a future character in a future novel. Dude at the gym started to get on my nerves yet again! But then I decided to be overly friendly and I realized that he is actually not the monster I thought he was. There are other and possibly better examples of how I switched crappy situations around today, but the point is is that I chose to have a good day and I did. Now nighttime is a different story... Hey, I might as well make it a good night, too, right?

The monkey in my mind is taking a nap right now. What a good example this monkey is, by the way. I don't take naps because I don't want to take out my contacts. Too lazy. That is honestly the number one reason why I haven't napped in years. What a shame! I should just grow a pair of monkey balls, wash my hands, take out my contacts, and rest my weary head for fifteen minutes. Or I should just start wearing glasses instead of contacts. I actually want to do that -- I will admit that I want a pair or two or five of hip Warby Parker lenses! I want a "look"! I want hip folk to saunter up to me and be, like, "Yeah, cool glasses. I dig 'em. Want to go grab some pork belly sandwiches at this food truck with me? Then we can listen to French records while we smoke cigarettes out of bathroom windows." I will politely tell them I don't smoke, but that I would be glad to join them for pork belly sandwiches and pretentious records.

Hey, I think I just fell asleep writing about prescription glasses. Boooooring. Guess I should just start a conversation in my head about Warby Parkers the next time I need a nap. I start a lot of conversations in my head. We all do, right? I get nervous about having conversations with other people in real life because I have forgotten the "rules." Like, what am I allowed to say? What are the faux pas of adult conversations? Work conversations don't count. I'm talking about talking with my pals, my old buddies. My old buddy pals. For the past couple of years, I have kind of/totally disappeared from everything and anything social. I am kinda of/totally ready to reappear. Magic trick! Now you see her (me), now you don't, but now you see her (me) again. And this time she has cool glasses and a pork belly sandwich in her belly and a hip French New Wave feel about her. Yeah, groovy. Looks like she even takes naps! She's so great! Meghan is so so so great and I think I am in love and I want to apply fingerpaint to her torso.

Speaking of paint, I think I may do something I haven't done in far too long -- paint. I want to get messy. I want to let go of the control and paint my way into chaos. And then I will eat! I will eat whatever I want! I will even eat the paint if I so desire! Hey, I've craved stranger things.

Love you! Please be nice to yourselves tonight. Have a wonderful conversation, sandwich, and nap. You deserve it.