distort

If you are at all annoyed with or concerned by my morning monkey mind, I advise you to simply skip reading any of the posts I write in the AM. I won't be offended! I will just secretly think of you as a less creative creature. But we can't all be Picasso. We can't all disfigure the female form through painting. OR CAN WE?

I want to start painting. Again and for the first time. I have never taken an art class aside from a few back in junior high. One of the art teachers gave me a shitty grade on a shading assignment and I think that discouraged me for the rest of my life... Until now! I wonder if not taking any art classes has been a positive thing? Nah. I do love the outsider artists, the "untrained." But at the same time, I would totally dig it if I knew how to properly sketch a realistic bowl of fruit. And then I can take my skill of fruit sketching and incorporate it into looser, more abstract crap, such as painting women with wonky faces.

In the morning, with all of my buzziness, I could definitely be a great teacher. I am like, PAY ATTENTION! Order in the classroom! Good morning, darling children of mine! Where's my apple! Let me sketch that bowl of apples! Something something about reading writing 'rithmetic and hall passes and paper airplanes. Chalkboards! My classroom will definitely have an old-school chalkboard because white boards are boring boards and my classroom will be anything but boring. My classroom will be a carnival with shrunken heads (science!) and mirrors which distort you just like one of Picasso's women and a haunted carousel because if there is one thing I want to accomplish in life it is to put fear into the hearts of children everywhere.

I joke. I want children to be happy. Sometimes, however, children are happy when they are scared! But safely scared, like the kind of scared they get from reading Goosebumps or watching a plant grow. (That plant thing is a real fear for some children, okay? And by some children I mean me. Little Meg was terrified of a tiny little plant inside of a tiny little Dixie cup which she received way back in the Primary days. A plant! What the hell, sweetie sweetheart love-of-my-life, Meggie?!)

Well, this concludes Meg's Manic Monkey Mind on this Wacky Whimsical Wednesday. Ugh. That is the worst sentence I have ever constructed.