tour

Alright alright alright (said in Matthew McConaughey's voice) (that joke isn't relevant or funny) (but not all jokes have to be winners) (sometimes life is a joke) (and in life there are winners and losers) (and then there are those who aren't winners and aren't losers, they are somewhere comfortably in the middle) (which is where I'd like to be) (eventually).

Where was I? Oh right. Alright alright alright. My last post was a bit of a downer. A bit! Just a smidgen. A pinch of this and a dash of that and voila! You've got yourself a light and fluffy downer first thing in the morning! Well, no. I don't want to be that today. I don't want to be that Deborah Downer. If I fixate on how I feel "weird," that's all I will feel today. And there are so many other feelings to feel! Joy! Elation! Desire! Lust! Jolly! Jittery! Hostile! There are a few of those I just mentioned that I won't actively seek out, but if they happen to happen to me, I will allow it. I guess that means I will allow myself to feel weird as well. Hmmm. This isn't really a contradiction; I just won't fixate on feeling weird. I'll just feel all of the feelings that come my way, man. Ride those waves.

Waves. I need to visit the ocean. Soon. I was there, I suppose, a few months ago when I went to San Francisco. But not really. Because was I ever really in San Francisco? It still feels, and probably always will feel, like a dream. (Feels! I litter my posts with feels.) Plus, the only time I saw the ocean was from a wharf populated by tourists. I was one of those tourists, wasn't I? But I was alone. I am not a tourist when I am alone. I am whatever I want to be.

I am off to go get some coffee (or herbal tea! please, meg! for the sake of your soul and your nerves and your FEELS, get the herbal tea!) now with a great gal and pal. Gal pal. Gal pals are the best kind of pals. I want more of you gal pals in my life, please. Please oh please! And please, stick with me. I know my thoughts are all over the place these days/all of the time. And they probably always will be all over the place. But I swear there's buried treasure in here somewhere! Is that my ego speaking? Or is that the truth?

Alright alright alright. Have a Saturday full of feels. xoxoxoxo