Thursday, March 26, 2015


I, being the wise wise wise soul that I am, would benefit from examining my daily routines because something ain't working quite right. There are changes for me to make, but I can't make those changes if I have my head in the sand... Unless, of course, one of the changes is to find a nice place in the sand to rest my head then SURPRISE! It's not even a change because I'm already doing that! So what are we even talking about? Change can't be change if you never break the dollar, you know? I joke. I joke often when I should instead just get to the point.

So. Here's the point. I am going to examine my daily routine, beginning with how I begin my morning. Maybe I should begin it with a cheerful heart and Cheerios instead of an icy heart and a tray of ice cubes. Hmmmmm. Mmmmmmm. Hmmm and mmmmm and mmmmmaybe I will do this examination later. And privately. I have a lot of weird habits I, being the wise and weird soul that I am, would benefit from examining in a less public forum.

I will admit, however, that this morning I Googled "how to rediscover your passion." And I found something! I am passionate about Googling! Here are eight SUREFIRE ways to rediscover your passion, according to some dude whose job it is to dispassionately write lists like this for websites at a job he loathes. Okay! Here we go.

1. Slow down.
Hey! You aren't the boss of me! But also, you are soooo right. I feel like I am already slow enough in most areas of my life -- late bloomer, if you will. Yet, hilariously enough, I am also running myself into the ground/sand. So I guess my head and my feet are both cemented into this sand. My arms are free, though, and I am waving a ginormous white flag. And a red flag. And, for some unknown reason, a Jamaican flag.

So he/she/it tells me to do yoga, go on a walk, meditate. Check, check, check. Except I fall into the trap of doing two of those three for Ed purposes. Like, go on a walk! To burn just a few more calories! But you have to time yourself. You have to control your leisurely walk, dammit! And yes, I do go on walks because I feel like a rabid dog in a cage if I stay inside for longer than 5 minutes, but that Ed voice overpowers everything. EVERYTHING, even my undying passion for nature.

Whoa. Hold on a sec. I don't need to rediscover my passion because I just discovered it. I never lost it. I never needed a treasure map or a compass or an app to tell me where to find it. I am 7,000,000,000% passionate about nature. "Nature" is so broad, though. Can I narrow it down? Should I? It might help me wrap my head around things and develop a better focus/direction rather than just passing out in a hammock from an overdose of groovy vibes. Okay, let's see. Hold on a sec. You are doing a lot of holding on of seconds, I know. Just... Just give me a few.

Ugh, what is number 2? No bathroom jokes, please. This will be the longest post if I continue at this rate. Maybe I, being the wise, weird, beatnik freak that I am, would benefit from taking each of the eight ways in which to rediscover my passion (even though I've already kinda discovered it, kittens) and discuss them in eight separate posts. That will keep you tuned in for sure! On the edge of your seat! Waving a Jamaican flag while you obsessively refresh her FOG and PEARLS dot COM. Oh, dot blogspot dot com. Forgot about that part -- my head must be full of sand. Hey, at least I'm outside on this foggy beach. Oh, and what's that? An oyster with a pearl? My my my, it must be my lucky day.

Number 2! Soon!

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