Society, man! It's totally a drag! Totally bringin' me down! No, but really. I don't like that I am worried about money and that I desire more money because I very much desire to rid myself of worries. And I don't like that I feel compelled (although not as much as I did in the past) to play games with other people. Coworkers, family members, friends, potential loves, acquaintances, cashiers, children, pastors and priests -- everyone. We feel like we can't say what we actually want to say, that if we do express our desires and our emotions we will either be ridiculed, pushed away, ignored, or the ever-wonderful all of the above.
Well, I am tired of going against my "inner self." Of course I'm tired of it. It doesn't make sense. I keep trying to make the senseless make sense and it is depleting me rapidly. All of that energy and passion could (and should) be used for what gives me life and what allows me to give life to others. That sounds a little ego-heavy, but I'm too exhausted to figure out a better way to phrase it. Basically, I want to concern myself less with material possessions and people pleasing and just BARE IT ALL! Baring it all by tellin' whomever whatever whenever and having confidence in the truth -- my truth -- and not worrying if others reject me. Baring it all by rollin' around naked wherever whenever with whomever in the mud under the sun during a psychedelic music festival. Kidding, but tooooootally serious. I miss you, Hippie Meg. You are sure buried deep inside. Come out come out and let it all hang out! Please?
So maybe I need to still concern myself a little with money. You know, just so I can get by and help myself heal and help others as well. And maybe I need to be slightly more selective with whom I share my innermost thoughts and secrets. But I am going to also step away from worrying about the cash and the games and use my time to find the carefree soul I know is still inside of me. I will lure her out with sunsets and sunrises and good food and bird watching. I will tempt her with trips up the canyon to lie on some rocks and stare at the sky. And a mud pit! She is definitely a sucker for getting dirty.
Turn on! Tune in! Drop out! But still remember to pay your medical bills! Mwah mwah!