Saturday, March 7, 2015

I am amazing!

I don't really want to write tonight. I feel like doing something else. And so maybe I'll go do that something else. This is a big step for me! I am beginning to just, you know, do whatever the hell I want. Here are some examples of me doing whatever the hell I want:

*I ate Grape-Nuts for lunch. LUNCH! Not breakfast? No way, man. Wanted it for lunch and so for lunch I feasted on at least two bowls of the world's lamest cereal.

*Go to the gym less? Sure! Okay! Hey! I still feel great! Probably even better!

*I stopped reading a book I didn't like and started one I knew I would like. Huh. That was easy.

*I told my very understanding mama that I was too tired one night and went into my room to be alone without feeling guilty. Well, without feeling too guilty. And all was fine!

*I am going to go to Harmons now and buy myself some nice treats instead of writing a blog post. Because I want to! Because I don't have to obsessively stick to a self-imposed schedule. I don't want to become a robot. I want to become a robust badass bitch. Bitches can be super kind and compassionate and wonderful 5th grade teachers, by the way. A bitch ain't a bad thing. The only bad thing is ignoring your own needs and desires and bladder. Do not, under any circumstances, ignore your bladder. Take it from this wetter of pants! Also, take my hand and hold it and let's kiss. I am feeling so amorous. Wuh-oh... Guess a bowl of Grape-Nuts is like an oyster; an aphrodisiac AND high in iron.

Okay, sexy readers, time for me to buys some sexy ice cream and sexy pumpernickel bread and, hell, maybe even some sexy sardines. A feast! A weekend feast for the most robust bitch in town.

<3 <3 <3

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