receptive

Oh, so this is what it feels like to not be starving. And, to be honest, it's almost too much. I feel too awake, too clear-headed. I am not being jokey jokey right now. It really is almost unpleasant to be cognizant. There is a warm, syrupy feeling that comes with living in your own delusions. I guess "warm" wouldn't be the best word for my particular situation. I was cold. Always, always cold.

And now that I am warming up and coming back to life, I don't know what to do with all of this new energy. Hey, there could be worse "problems," right? I do not mean to complain. I don't think I am complaining. I am figurin' shit out! Right here! On the Internet! Through these jumbled words! I should have gotten jambalaya yesterday. Let me explain.

I was brave! I went out to a restaurant yesterday after my sister and I picked up my mama from the airport. After thinking about it way, way, way too hard, we settled on Squatters. Squatters is awesome. Do not get me wrong. Never, ever, ever in your life get me wrong. In order to not keep dragging on with this fairly tiresome story, I will just say that I ordered what I wanted on the menu (awesome!) and ate it all (awesome, I guess!), but didn't really like it (buuuuummmmmmer). And it takes a lot for me to be disappointed in food, especially at this stage. I was frustrated for a few minutes, but then I tried to put things into perspective and shifted my attitude. I had the choice to either stay grumpy or to move on.

I moved on, for the most part. It has been a two-steps-forward-one-step back kinda thing with me. Forever. And it probably always will be. As long as I am taking those two steps forward... Wow, did I already write about this last night? I don't want to check. I am four paragraphs into this blog and I'm just now recalling that perhaps I wrote these same words mere hours ago. I've been distracted. I get to go to the hospital in an hour HOOOOORAAAAY. Iron infusions, blood work, etc. I... I hope I'm okay.

But enough about this old sad anemic sack! Let's talk about you! What are your hopes and dreams for the future? Can I help you in any way? Want to go out and eat burgers sometime? Or just get tea and tell knock knock jokes? Knock knock. Who's there? Dimitri. Dimitri who? Dimitri is where burgers come from. (You are welcome.)