I expect today will be full of metaphorical rainbows and literal sunshine. It better be because yesterday was an all-around mess. In my experience, one day will be up, one day will be low. Luckily, there have been more stable days recently than the extreme highs and lows. Yes, the highs are seductive, but they come with a big crash. So, dear Universe, time to balance yourself out! Today will be a pleasant one. Plus, it's Friday. BUT THEN AGAIN, what are days to the unemployed? They are all Saturdays. Very, very poor Saturdays.
Speaking of poor, I just paid some bills. And in a way it was kind of exhilarating? Exhilarating is a strong word. If nothing else, it felt nice to check something of actual importance off of my to do list. You see, I can be depressed, anxious, unemployed, and still pay my bills! Five days late, sure, but they have been paid nonetheless.
So I guess I just spent a paragraph discussing bills. Boooooring. Did you fall asleep yet? I'll tell you what will make you fall asleep -- sleeping pills, duh. I took one last night for the first time in a long time and man oh man were my dreams wacky. No one wants to hear about someone else's dream UNLESS that dream has to do with playing on a jungle gym with Woody Harrelson. He was even wearing his damn hemp pants in my dream. Naturally Woody and I were best friends, which I think is something we could be in real life if I ever meet him. WHEN I meet him, excuse me.
Sometimes I think I blog in order to feel like I have completed some self-imposed writing assignment for the day. Like, "Yep! Wrote about bills and Woody Harrelson today. Gold star, A+, done and done. Now I don't even have to think about that whole novel-writing business. What novel? Exactly." And then la la la la la I go about my day, head in the clouds, avoiding real life. I like this goofy blog, I do. But I also wonder why I put so much time into it and close to zero minutes into any other writing projects. I think I like the instant gratification that comes with a blog. Type type type and then poof -- published. Having other people read, react, and relate to my writing/thoughts is also a plus. And, if it isn't glaringly obvious, this blog isn't perfect. That's what's nice about it. I am so stubborn about making most everything I do perfect (a set-up for failure, by the way) that this blog comes as a welcome relief. I have a feeling that I would be driven cuckoo by other forms of writing -- trying to write the perfect first sentence, the perfect chapter, the perfect character. What I need to learn is the power of rough drafts, revision, rewrites. Please, Meghan, don't try to be perfect on the first try. Or on any try. Just write and get it down, let it out.
Fiiiiine. I'll try. I really will. Where will I start today? Should I revisit a story I started over a year ago? Or maybe the muse came to me last night in a dream. Maybe my novella will be a heartwarming tale of two best friends in hemp pants having the time of their lives high up on the monkey bars. Emphasis on the word HIGH, if you know what I mean.
Okay! Now go pay some bills! It will be intoxicating, I promise.