Sunday, February 28, 2016


I am drunk off of the sun and scotch right now and cannot seem to think straight. OKAY, not drunk off of scotch, but definitely feeling the effects of that celestial orb. Celestial orb. You heard me. Well, you read me. You also ignored me when I sent you that really long email explaining why I've been kinda bratty lately! Yes, I'm talking to my ex right now. I really should stay on good terms with people. Much easier that way.

What's not easy: Everything lately, especially running. Bummer bummer bummer. I always prided myself on being a fuggin' fantastic runner. Endurance! Speed! Got both of 'em! But not anymore. At least not right now. Don't get your hopes up -- I don't have a pulled groin muscle again. Knock on wood. I do, however, have hardly any red blood cells and they are surprisingly pretty vital. I tend to ignore my anemia, just like I ignore most uncomfortable realities, but it's apparent I can no longer brush it aside. I have begun taking two iron supplements a day AND I just purchased roast beef at the store. Hey, it's a start. I would be 1,000% happy with receiving iron infusions again, but I am not 1,000% happy about having to pay thousands of dollars. Or hundreds. Or whatever it cost last year. Can't remember. Can't remember a lot. Red blood cells contain my memory.

I do remember how important Buddhism is to me. I have been remembering it a lot lately. I think it's because I have been exceptionally anxious and out of sorts and perplexed about my future. These emotions rise and rise and rise until they boil over and I have what one may call a meltdown. But when you reach that low point, you can't help but see more clearly what is important to you and your well-being. And that, for me, is spirituality, specifically Buddhism. Nature and the preservation of the environment is also way way way up there on the list of important things. And relationships. Having and maintaining healthy, loving relationships. Interestingly enough writing isn't super high on the list. Then again, writing and I have a hot/cold relationship, to put it mildly. Hot. Cold. Mild. Which do you prefer? I prefer the mild because Buddhism has showing me that the middle path is tried and true and rad as shit.

What else is rad as shit: This weather. That celestial orb. The fact that I still have time to enjoy it if I leave this desk RIGHT NOW and make love to the hammock. If you need me, I'll be blissed out under the sun while simultaneously battling inner demons. Not sure how one can be blissful in such a state, but, well, life is full of contradictions, man.


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