Saturday, February 6, 2016


Saturday already? Yes, every day is Saturday for this girl. I hate Saturdays. But I don't hate every day. So I guess every day isn't Saturday. Don't get me started on days again.

But do get me started on a project. Please. I feel useless, restless, directionless. Less than. The solution to these empty feelings isn't necessarily to fill it with more more more. The trick is to get rid of stuff, to get rid of distractions. Less equals more yada yada yada. Oh, there I go again -- speaking Yiddish. Side note: According to Wiktionary, "yada yada yada" is popularly attributed to Yiddish, but this is dismissed by etymologists. How in the world did I spell "etymologists" correctly on the first try? Maybe because I am a ZHENI. "Zheni" is Yiddish for "genius," as if you didn't already know that.

So yeah. A project. I need at least something to keep me busy for a day or three just so I can wrap myself up in the warm blanket of accomplishment, a blanket which will eventually suffocate me. Clean the bathroom? Yeah... I guess that's something I could do. Organize my closet? You know, maybe. Go through boxes in the basement? Yes, because I love earwigs. Okay, so none of these sound especially exciting, but that's normal. I need to break up these "tasks" into 20 minute chunks or something or else they shall never be completed. I say all of this, but I'm simply going to end up being absorbed in some novel for the rest of the freakin' day. I'm hopeless.

I sound hopeless, but I'm not really. I am just sort of stuck. I think the elation and newness that came from moving back home has worn off. I love being here, don't get me wrong, but I am beginning to get too comfortable in my routines, too idle. I need to challenge myself to get out more, to try different things, to not hold myself to some strange, exhausting standard. I also need to desperately brush my teeth and get dressed for the day -- the day full of less. And that might not be such a bad thing.

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