Thursday, February 25, 2016


Readership of this blog has drastically declined, which is A-OK with me. It must mean that my previous employers (NOT NAMING NAMES DON'T GET ME INTO TROUBLE OKAY) have stopped stalking my blog. Well, it's true. They were. Pish posh, no matter. Water under a bridge -- and then I burn that bridge! But good thing there is water. The fire quickly fizzles out and we can all go about our business. Speaking of fire...

What if I become a firefighter? Only because I like the sensation of sliding down poles. Kidding, kidding. Although I might? It's been probably forever since I've had a good pole slide. Anyway, I saw on the news last night that the U.S. Forest Service is looking to recruit women to wildland fire crews. I think it's because we look hot holding a massive hose? I don't know, but whatever it is maybe I'll do it. My mother is terrified right now! And you are all laughing at me! But what if it actually happens? Hell, I'm almost ready to go through police training in order to become a park ranger. And years ago I thought, for about 45 seconds, that the army might be a good way for me to attain a college education. And and and I sometimes fantasize about becoming the mayor of a very, very rural town. Like, a town so rural that I am the only resident. I am my own mayor. Order in the court (I also want to be a judge).

Let's see what else is new with me... I am determined to finish all of the many, many, way too many books I have started and failed to finish. Unless it was a terrible horrible no good very bad book, I gotta finish it. There's no real reason why I stopped reading them aside from ADHD stuff. You know, distracted! Distracted all the time! By everything and everyone and every forest fire that blazes my way. "Blazes my way." Good writing right there.

Turns out I am quite distracted and cannot continue to write at the present moment. I am also so extremely sweaty from running and the sweat is making me cold, smelly, and sticky. I suppose I'll have to get used to sweat if/when I am to become a wildland firefighter. But for now I am just a simple, future mayor and part-time judge who wants to take a simple, immediate, full-time shower. Catch ya later, hosers.

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