Thursday, April 2, 2015


Hi, Kitties. (I know some of my readers strongly dislike cats, which makes my term of endearment more a term of annoyance. I didn't purposely mean to annoy you. Plus, kitties are universally well-liked, right? Unless you are a psycho or a dumbass backwoods bully who has to compulsively dominate anything and anyone you can. Anyway. Hi, Kitties.)

I decided to start a new paragraph because the one above was no bueno. You know what has also been no bueno? Me. And I suppose I am more of a "who" not a "what." I was awesome awesome awesome yesterday riiiiight up until approximately 4:37pm. If I take a look back and the who what where when why and how, I will discover that my no bueno-ness was due to either the time of day (slump city! should really look into happy hour at my local bar her in family city!) or the fact that I way way way overdid it at the gym. I hate that I even have a gym membership, to be honest. In my heart of hearts I disagree with just about everything gyms stand for. Okay, physical fitness is cool and healthy and whatnot. And sure, sometimes gyms are good for the old folks who can't get outside and have to do physical therapy stuff on stationary bikes or whatever. And yeah, the free Tootsie Rolls and pizza and purple Bic pens at Planet Fitness are rad. (Upon reflection, I'm not entirely sure the purple Bic pens are free. If this is the case, I have stolen at least seven pens over the past two weeks.) But other than that, I can't believe how environmentally unfriendly gyms are, especially the ones open 24 hours a day. The florescent lights! The AC to keep the sweaty bodies slightly less sweaty! The dozens of television screens showing reruns of Friends, the rows and rows of idle monstrous machines, and the massive coal powered train that runs around the perimeter of the building. Okay, so there's no coal powered train, but there might as well be. Point is, I don't agree ethically with gyms. I'd be much better off mentally and spiritually and maybe even physically if I went more natural with my workouts, you know? Hiking and biking and running outside. Getting somewhere instead of running like a rat on a planet-destroying conveyor belt. All of this gym talk is making my anxiety levels rise. Better go de-stress by running it off while watching Monica and Chandler do something hilarious for the billionth time! Juuust kidding. Moving on.

No passion searching today. Or at least not this morning. My mind is too distracted anyway thinking about what I should wear to work. Isn't that the pits? I wish I could just have one simple outfit that I modified here and there depending on the weather. But for the most part, it would just be something simple, like a white robe or black kaftan. Do I sound like I belong in a cult? Maybe I do. Oh wait, I already DO belong to a cult. And it's called Planet Fitness. Damn, girl.

I ain't so manic panic this morning. Well, I'm more panic, less manic. Together they are a fun combination, but separately they are too much. I think I will go get lost in my bookshelf for a few minutes and find a healthy distraction AKA a book. Never mind that I am already engrossed in about 13 or so books -- I am always ready to start a new one. Pile them on. Bury my heart underneath a mountain of books. And so forth.

If you think of any great OUTDOOR activities with a very small carbon footprint, please let me know via steam locomotive. And if you have any book recommendations, I don't want to hear it because I have probably already read the book. I love you, kittens. You are definitely the cat's meow.

No comments: