Sunday, April 5, 2015


I've come to the conclusion that -- Kidding. I haven't come to any conclusion about anything recently. I trick myself! I guess that is one thing I can conclude. I trick myself into thinking that I have come to various conclusions about various things. Careers! Relationships! Books, music, media. Art, culture, society. Politics, religion, favorite flavor of ice cream. Ice cream. Food. Body image, sexual identity, legalization of all sorts of currently illegal things. Did I mention ice cream? I am still unsure which is my preferred flavor. And this is a real concern because five days out of the week I am approached by a heartbreakingly fascinating 5-year-old named Kevin who asks me my favorite flavor of ice cream. I usually go with cookies-n-cream and say something like, "With BIG chunks of cookie! I love cookies!" I then quickly shift the focus off of me and ask Kevin his favorite flavor ("rainbow") and he proceeds to spend the rest of recess discussing the unlimited possibilities of the infamous frozen concoction.

Wow, I spent far more sentences than planned on ice cream. Not that I plan what I write. I never have. Ever. Not even my essays. Okay, maybe I planned those a little, but for the most part I plagiarized. (Joke! I only sorta plagiarized a handful of times in my lustrous college career.) I should note that I am not as panicked about pinpointing my favorite ice cream flavor as I make it out to be. In fact, the only thing true about that ice cream tale was everything but the panic. So yes, there is a fascinating 5-year-old Kevin who loves rainbow ice cream and talks to me for at least half an hour a day -- without taking a breath -- about any and all things even remotely related to ice cream. NO MORE ABOUT ICE CREAM, I SWEAR.

I don't need to come to any conclusions right now. Or ever. I will remind myself of this over and over again. It might even be a good thing to be undecided about most things, yes? To make myself look good, I can say that my indecisiveness is a strength! It means that I am always questioning things, like authority and Google. It means that I have an open mind and sound critical thinking skills. Of course, it might also mean that it's time for me to face my own life and make my own decisions. I can only ask others "What do you think?" before I inevitably have to ask myself. And on occasion it would be nice to have a confident answer.

I want to end this post and go sweep my bathroom floor. Yes, that is exactly what I want to do. On Easter Sunday, no less! I live a reckless existence, I know. Hey, I came to a conclusion! I concluded that I wish to stop writing about ice cream and indecision and instead sweep a long-neglected tile floor. Wow, making a decision was easier than I thought. And it was somewhat fun. You know, just to do whatever I want, no matter how thrilling or mundane.

Conclusion: Flex your assertive muscle. Don't be disappointed if you change your mind from time to time. Change is good. Ice cream is good. Kevin is a genius. Although Kevin may be a genius, you must go out and discover rainbow ice cream for yourself. You are worth it, I promise.

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