Monday, April 6, 2015


I just awoke from a 2 minute and 56 second nap. It felt much, much longer than that, though. What's the deal? I was crouched on my window seat wearing my moody black hoodie when I decided to simply "rest my eyes" for ten minutes. I set my timer and when I woke up I was in a state of panic, sure that I had slept far past the allotted ten minutes. Not so! Only 2 minutes and 56 seconds had passed. WHAT'S THE DEAL? I then moved to lie on my side and just stared out the window for a good 2 minutes and 57 seconds. I watched the flag across the street in front of the church wave in the wind and felt NO pangs of patriotism. Then I watched the pine tree shake and wished I could somehow warm it up. There was a plane that flew by and made me start laughing because I was, like, "You are trying so hard to be a bird, but you don't even know how to eat worms." Or seeds. I purchased pumpkin seeds last week after my last iron infusion. Pumpkin seeds are wonky high in iron. So is chicken liver, but to the best of my knowledge, Big Lots does not stock chicken liver. Just pumpkin seeds. That's all they sell. Pumpkin seeds. Big Lots? More like Big on Carrying Lots of Pumpkin Seeds. Guess the general public needs iron as much as I do. Guess we're the United States of Anemia. Guess I'm not the unique, delicate flower I once thought I was. Well, I am still rather delicate. I basically have bird bones. But I am not a plane; I do not trick myself into thinking I am a plane. But I do eat seeds.

That was a fun paragraph to write. To type. To concoct in my head and let it leak out of my fingers. I figure I'll probably write more posts like this after getting 2 minutes and 56 seconds of sleep. This style of writing is like a bad cup of coffee for my brain. Well, time to let the anemic general public push all of my buttons at the grocery store. Why do I do this to myself? Because I like food. Surprise of the century? Wish I had a huge garden, though. I could just grab my shopping cart and head on down the isles of sun ripened tomatoes and cabbage patch dolls and secrets. My garden my garden my garden: Where I will always be a preferred customer and will never need to show the attendant my ID. I will be free.

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