Sunday, April 26, 2015


I feel on top of the world. Well, not THE world, but my world. I spent today sort of... apologizing to myself. I allowed myself to rest and wander and create and laugh. It was incredibly healing. I allowed myself to ignore my phone with no guilt. Okay, there was SOME guilt attached to it, but being unattached to my phone was nice nice nice and I almost want to throw my phone into a river, but that would require me to go find a river. I don't want to throw it into the Provo River. I'm thinking the McKenzie River in Oregon would be an appropriate phone-throwing river. I will NOT do that, however, because my phone is fine. I do like that it connects me on occasion to a select number of people -- plus, it comes super in handy when I'm using the bathroom at work/standing in the bathroom checking Twitter while pretending to, you know, pee.

I was THIS close to making a 5-year-plan today, but instead I bought a sketch book and read some poetry and contemplated cats. I can't do 5-year-plans. They terrify me. But I AM going to start writing down what I really, really want. What I would like to achieve. So far I just have the word "OUTSIDE" written down. Give me open spaces with no attachments to phones and places and people (I mean, I still love y'all, but I am beginning to realize I may be one of those solitary types). Let me rely on my feet more and bless the ground as I walk. Give me a park ranger hat and I will wear it with pride. Come and find me because I might hide. Note: Do not really come and find me. That's creepy. And I won't hide because I am too into letting people know about my life via Twitter and Instagram and, to a lesser extent, Facebonk. I mean, Facebook. No, wait -- I did mean FaceBONK.

Live your life. I will live mine as well. There is no need to please and say sorry. There is only a need to drop down on your knees and say thank you thank you thank you.

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