Thursday, April 30, 2015


Broken Record Meg has replaced Monkey Mind Meg. I feel like I have said this before... See?! And no, not broken record as in I'm breaking a lot of records! I am setting the bar higher! And no, I'm not breaking actual records, although I've always secretly wanted to walk into a party which still uses a record player to set the mood and grab the record off the player, smash it, and walk out. The party goers will stand around holding their martinis with their mouths agape and stare at the door, wondering who the hell that badass chick was that just sauntered into their soiree and smashed their Lawrence Welk record. And why? Well, I can't tell you who that badass chick is (due to having Borderline Personality Disorder), but I can tell you why she smashed the record. Because it was freakin' Lawrence Welk, you dummmies. Put on some surf music and then we can call it a party.

I am frustrated by one thing this morning (okay, three things) and delighted by one thing. First the frustration(s): It's the classic "oh, I don't want to date you so you won't even acknowledge me anymore?" thing. Those people a real gems. No, I get it, though. The ego gets in the way and the reason they drop me the second I express any kind of doubt is that they are protecting themselves. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Second frustration: I ran into FIVE tree branches this morning on my walk!!! Hey, I can either be frustrated by it or be thankful that we have trees and that I didn't poke any of my three eyes out. Third frustration: I can't really remember what the third one was, but I think it had something to do with stupid cars on my morning walk. I want to walk in a place where no cars are allowed. NO CARS and NO BRATS ON SCOOTERS. And only dogs are allowed. And nudity. Naked poodles EVERYWHERE. Okay! Now for my delighted thing! I was and still am delighted by the clouds. I mean, I always am. But this morning they are popcorn clouds! They are super trippy, too. It's as if the clouds ingested some lovely psilocybin mushrooms with their morning Cheerios (as opposed to their mid-afternoon Cheerios and twilight Cheerios). I adore clouds. And the moon. My two favorite things aside from in-your-face tree branches.

Breakfast time for me, folks. Yes, gonna butter up that hot muffin of mine. Should I sprinkle it with shrooms? Can you imagine? I would have the best/most terrifying day at work. Recess would be amazing, I'll tell ya that. I'll tell ya! And I just did! I tell you a lot of things, perhaps too much. Don't take me seriously, but please, whatever you do, take me seriously. Which one will you take? The non-serious or the serious? Whichever one you decide on, please return it when you are done. Catch ya later!

No comments: