Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's move on to more important business, namely that of fanny packs. I want a fanny pack. I want a fanny pack because I want to start jogging OUTSIDE (no more conveyor belts, please!) and I want a place to store my phone because you never know when you will need to make an emergency call/snap a sweaty selfie. I can also put other things in my fanny pack, such as my tattered copy of War and Peace, fourteen overripe bananas, and another fanny pack. And inside that backup fanny pack will be another fanny pack, which holds another fanny pack, which holds another fanny pack, which holds another fanny pack... And this never ends. I hold infinity around my waist. A waist is a terrible thing to mind. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind and my fanny pack the most. Make the most out of today for you never know what tomorrow brings aside from fanny packs in the mail. I just ordered fourteen overripe fanny packs. I expect them in the mail any day now!
Now that was a lie. I did not order even a single overripe fanny pack. But I probably will because why the hell not you only live once be spontaneous be reckless strap a small bag around your waist don't waste your time -- and don't waste MY time. That's something I still have to learn. I have to learn to not let others waste my time. That sounds harsh, not super compassionate, and a little dramatic. Maybe it's all of those things and more. Maybe I need to switch my perspective yadda yadda yadda. (Yada or yadda?) (Yin or yang?) (Fanny or pack?) But maybe I also need to start stickin' up for myself and being more assertive. I still struggle majorly with people pleasing. It's such a drag. I need to remember that I am people, too. I am a person! How about I please myself for once? What do you want, Meg? What do you want aside from a fanny pack full of infinity?
I can start off by saying I want breakfast. I was going to say I want a burrito, but that's not entirely true. I've created this image of myself that I am a girl who loves loves loves burritos and bananas and cats. Well, I do, but not as hardcore as you may think. I like cats the most out of those three items simply because a cat is a living creature, but bring me a dog first. Burritos are marvelous, but I'm usually disappointed that the burrito doesn't live up to my expectations and so I will keep eating the burrito in hopes that it will get better, but I just end up getting fuller until I'm about to explode and then I'm sick and sad. Bananas are high in potassium DUH and that's something I lack DUH so it is wise for me to eat a banana every now and again, but lately I've preferred oranges.
Orange you glad this post is almost finished? Orange you glad you stuck around to the end in order to see some pictures of some fanny packs? I feel a little melancholy this morning. I am not sure why. Since I am a certified adult, can I blame my mood on the fact that it is a Monday? That's the easiest thing to do. And lately I've been doing everything the hard way, so perhaps it's time for me to relax and go with the flow. Take the easy way out! Complain about Monday! Strap a fanny pack around my heart and go out for a jog. Smell the roses/banana peels littering the path. Wake up. It's time for me to wake up and speak up and toke up. Happy 420 4ever. Mwah.
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