Here is my daily reminder to myself that recovery is a process: Hi Meg! Recovery is a process! Remember that overcoming addiction of any kind is going to take time. Remember that it is okay to feel sluggish and frustrated and annoyed and tired and tired and hungry and tired and disappointed. Remember that these are emotions and that it has been a long, long time since you let yourself feel emotions. Remember that you are also going to feel joy, contentment, inspired, amorous, tenacious, thankful, strong. Allow yourself to go through the process with a curious heart. Allow yourself to slip up and slide down and have shitty days. But if you allow yourself these moments, please oh please do not forget to allow yourself to have the triumphant moments, even if they seem quiet and small. YOU are not quiet and small. You are a warrior and you always have been. Gawddammit, Meg. You are amazing. Glad you are finally seeing it.
Okay! Now I want you to remind yourself of how wonderful you are. Even if you are a dum dum sometimes. Dum dum moments make for great stories! Plus, they give you material to work with later and they can make you a more understanding and compassionate person. Let's here it for the dum dums! Let's here it for us! Let's here it for recovery making me sooooo sleeeeepy this morning. It could have also been my walk outside. I was so cozy in my coat and hat, both of which I totally did not need, and the sun in my face put me in a good place. I walked around with my eyes closed for about 98 seconds until I realized I should probably keep at least one hazel eye open so I would not veer off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic. Ninety-eight seconds. Reminds me of a certain late-90s boy band. Was it the late 90s? But it also reminds me of my temperature and how I hope I'm not running a fever. Let me check.
Nope. I'm good. Clean as a whistle. Healthy as a horse. Confused as a penguin. Fact: Penguins are probably not confused creatures. They are flightless, however, so maybe they are confused whenever they attempt to fly. I can relate.
Well, I am gonna go write a few of my "besties" emails. Those besties all of have names that begin with the letter L. The letter of the day is L. My my my, aren't you looking lovely? Luscious, in fact. Your lips are luscious and, here, let me lick them. I kid. Don't touch me. You may be running a fever and I can't take the chance. But you know what I can take? My pants off. I can take my pants off. Let's let ourselves take our pants off and leap into the lake, living like lucky sons of bitches that we are. Sons and daughters of bitches. But not actual bitches. I hope our mothers are all sweethearts. Not that being a bitch is a negative thing to be. Quite the opposite. Sometimes you have to tell it like it is, sometimes you have to let your bare legs show.
Okay. So. That's that. Let's kick/kiss today's ass. You rock.