Saturday, April 25, 2015


I feel like I need to issue an apology for my last post. I know, one shouldn't have to apologize for having FEELINGS. I know, we are all allowed to have melodramatic moments. I know, I just purchased a bag of flour tortillas for FIVE dollars. I have feelings about five dollar tortillas and they aren't the most positive of feelings. But they are by far the best tortillas I have ever tasted. And you get 47 of them, so I figured five dollars is a pretty decent deal. (And by 47 I mean 10! So it's actually not that great of a deal! Screw it! What's done is done! I am not returning tortillas! I will NOT become that woman!)

Yep, feeling better. Blame my sunnier mood on the non-sunny weather if you will. Will you at least play Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" when you blame the weather? Even better, will you karaoke it? It only took me 47 times to correctly spell "karaoke." I made yet another "47" joke. It only took me two and a half times to spell it perfectly. Anyway, I think taking a bunch of funky ass hippie supplements today has also made me feel happier and more hopeful. Thank the Buddha above/within. It has also made me feel a lot poorer because funky ass hippie supplements cost a pretty penny. In fact, they cost 47 pretty pennies/dollars. I have also "given up" a little today and that has elevated my mood. I gave up in positive ways, such as giving up obeying that critic in my voice (I mean, not totally, but here and there), giving up being a perfect perfectionist, and giving up 47 of my dollars to some funky ass hippie corporation so they can order some stupid green smoothie up there on their throne in Aspen, Colorado or wherever the fudge they reside. Fudge? They wouldn't dare. They will stick with their quinoa and kale and smug self-satisfaction. I hate hippies! I love hippies! I am a hippie! I hate and love myself! Ultimately I want to forget myself! Abandon the ego and embrace the oneness! I am so hungry!

I was sad these past couple of days because I got in a fight of sorts with two of my best friends. And then another friend got upset with me because of a misunderstanding and it bummed me out big time. It is fairly easy to bum me out these days, though, so WATCH OUT. But it's also remarkably easy for me to bounce back from the bummed out mooooodz. Like, all I have to do is walk outside and my damn spirit (which may or may not exist) has been lifted all the way up to heaven (which may or may not exist). Outside outside outside outside is the only place I always want to be. Sometimes I want to run away from here or there, but I never want to run away from being outside. My love of open spaces might actually be some kind of disorder. Restless Spirit Disorder? Yeah, sounds about right.

I'm better. I hope you are better and best today. I hope we can eat tortillas together in the future. After we eat our hippie tortillas, would you like to go TP the funky ass hippie CEO's mansion in Aspen? We'll really STICK IT TO HIM (or her! or her!) by using 47-ply, bleached, 0% recycled toilet paper! Yeah! Show him and planet earth who's boss! (Hint: WE are the boss!)

Take care, sweeties. Go warm up.

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