Sunday, February 8, 2015


In the evening I have what tends to be a fairly predictable schedule. I read and read and read until the sun goes down. And then I write for a little bit, usually in a JOURNAL or on this weird BLOG I have, which is about fog and pearls. The next thing I do is a little embarrassing, but I have no shame! Okay, I have a lot of shame about a lot of things. Anywhooooo, I check all Instagram and Twitter for a good half hour. Luxurious and not at all wasteful, right? I talk with my mom, I watch the news, and then I completely shut down. For a half an hour to an hour my brain just powers off. Maybe I'm asleep during this time and don't realize it? Maybe I've fallen into a temporary black hole? I guess I don't understand how space works. I never claimed I was Neil deGrasse Tyson! Except for that one time at the bar. Joke. Astrophysicist, cosmologist, author, and science communicator I am not. Shocking.

Where was I? Right. My schedule. Why the "hell" am I telling you about my boring and shameless schedule? Why did I put hell in quotation marks? Should I go back to school and relearn grammar? Truth is, I'd basically be learning grammar for the first time. Thanks for nuthin', Alpine School District.

Just so I don't leave you hanging, I power back up after that odd brain-in-a-black-hole moment and then hello! I'm me again! I am wide awake, but no longer have the attention span to read, write, or be in any way productive. I usually bake something around this time because I like mixing things and seeing a finished product and, well, eating said product. It's cozy. Smells great, too. And then I watch a lot of television. So! There you go!

Oh right, I also get on Tumblr. Last night I found something on that blessed li'l site that will hopefully help me with my chronic writer's block? Maaaaybe? "Questions for Knowing Yourself Better." Oh Lord. I worry if I get to know myself, I will begin to love myself. And then where will I channel all of that energy I put into self-hatred? Into baking? Learning the rules of grammar? Studying astrophysics? Only time will tell, if time existed. Here we go.

1. If you could change one aspect of your life or personality, what would it be?

Hands down I'd change my need to be in control. My control issues are directly tied to my eating disorder. So banish the control freak aspect of my personality and you can say goodbye to that jokester ED. Well, almost. There are a thousand links on this eating disorder chain, but the control link is the strongest. Break that link and the rest don't stand much of a chance.

I began answering the next question, but it was hard. This whole business of getting to know oneself better is hard. I don't want to do hard things on a Sunday morning. I just want to eat poached eggs and talk to my cat. If only I knew how to poach eggs and if only I had a cat. If only. I will answer more questions later, but I may get a clue and answer them in a private journal. I gotta step up my blogging game. (This is a game? Have I been caught speeding and put into jail? When will I land on unowned property? And can I please be the top hat token? It's just the luck of dice, folks. Let me pass go.)

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