Monday, February 2, 2015


These cloudy days are the best. They really really really are. In Meghan's ideal world, there would be lots of overcast hours with light rain followed by a golden hour or two of nearly mythical sunshine. Did I just describe the Northwest? Maybe I am beginning to embrace the introvert that I so solidly am. Growing up I thought being shy was shameful. I was embarrassed anytime someone would call me quiet. TAKE IT BACK!!! I screamed in my head. Out loud, however, I just looked down and whispered, "Nah."

But being quiet is marvelous. It gives me time to see and listen and then to organize all of this collected data in my head. Up in this cranium of mine is a goldmine of glimpses into other people's lives. Glimpses. Not fully fleshed stories. It is my job to take these scenes and connect them into some sort of a story. It's a job, by the way, that I have given to myself. Nobody is asking me to create. I wear the hat of employer and employee and sometimes this hat doesn't fit. My head is rather large.

Anyway, I'm trying to be too thoughtful right now. My brain doesn't work that way in the morning. Nope. My brain is a basket of buzzing bees in the morning, searching for their hive. You know bees are dying out, right? What does this say about my brain?

Bear with me. I'll write something... Calmer tonight. My brain switches from bees to a hibernating bear at night. But the bear isn't asleep. The bear is stuck in his cave (why is my brain masculine? curious.), pacing around the fire he created from matches he found left by forgetful boy scouts. Yes, the insomniac bear in my brain knows how to make a fire. Doesn't yours? If not, you really should teach him. Or her. You should also teach him/her to tie knots and read good literature. Reading good literature will 9 times out of 10 save your life more than knots will, I promise.

Back to the bear. I have absolutely no clue where I was going with that. Such is the nature of the bee. BUT WAIT. Bees are actually very productive and focused, yes? Yes. So is my morning mind a monkey? I guess I don't know a lot about species outside of the homo sapiens. Hell, I don't even know much about the homo saps. It makes me think I should have paid more attention in biology. But I must have because I walked away with an A. I walked away from almost every class with an A, yet somehow I still feel unschooled.

Okay. So. Breathe. How can I tie all of this up? I could say something about how I'm shy on the outside, but inside I can't shut up. I already said that. Just a reminder, I guess. I could say that no bees are wingless, that bears are the national animal of Finland, and that next year will be the year of the monkey. I could say that the fact that I can't quite get out what I want to say this morning is frustrating me and causing me to chew not one, but TWO trays of ice and that I need to just step far, far away from the computer and go, like, practice tying knots or something. So that is what I shall do. Thank you for reading this post and stay posted for later when I am in my cave, pacing and throwing another log onto the fire.

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