Tuesday, February 10, 2015


I spent my "writing time" this morning composing an email to my dear, sweet, sharp-as-a-razor Laura Beth. Time well spent. I love that lady more than I love Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. Hell, I love her more than I love ice cream in general. And, friends, I love my ice cream. So so so much. So much, even though anytime I eat it and/or other sweets, I pay for it in the morning. No, I don't mean I pay for it in terms of "Oh, it goes straight to my hips!" Eff that shit. No, I pay for it with weird blood sugar issues. I'm almost positive that I have diabetes. Well, I might discuss that further in a future post after my doctor's appointment tomorrow.

But but but I don't want to think about doctor's appointments or test results or insulin shots. Not tonight! I am going to distract myself by doing the following: write a long-winded blog post detailing the quirky things I do in order to avoid thinking about scary things, chew on some ice cubes, read more of The Woman in White aka THE BEST BOOK EVER, drink too much herbal tea, chew on some more ice, check various online social media sites, play Scrabble and Trivia Pursuit and the bongo drums, wonder how I'm playing the bongo drums when I don't have any bongo drums, wake up from a dream about playing the bongo drums, wonder if it was a dream or a vision, decide it was a vision and that I am a prophet, write a manifesto, recruit followers, spread the good word, amass millions of dollars, buy a yacht, wear a captain's hat, sail the high seas, get swallowed by a whale, live tweet from inside of a whale, take a nap, wake up, find a cure for diabetes, brush my teeth, do it all over again.

I often wonder who reads my blog and why. I think most readers are sporadic readers, which is totally A-OK. I am not too consistent. I don't have a theme and I am terrible at responding to the few comments I receive. I don't include very many pictures and I jump from topic to topic. I never edit and revise. You are basically reading a slightly censored inner monologue or a private diary entry. I don't really know why I continue to post on this blog. Habit? Probably. I also think a part of me likes to reach out and open up to whomever is curious and interested. It's the painful and peculiar pleasure of being vulnerable.

I will keep posting these stream-of-consciousness ramblings until I find a better, more useful hobby, such as kite flying or treasure map making. Read if you must, but know that I fully understand if you would rather suck on rocks than read one more of my poorly constructed sentences. Please wash the rocks first, though. And for the sake of your tongue, make sure the rocks are smooth. And for the sake of your taste buds, make sure the rocks are actually Tootsie Pops. How many licks does it take to get to the center? Stick with me and maybe I'll let you know in my next post.

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