infuse

Remind me to never, ever make an appointment with a doctor at 3pm. Make sure I make it for the earliest time possible so that I don't go through the entire day in a state of sheer panic and dread. Also, remind me that I always feel like a crappy piece of crap around 3pm and that that is a time for me to take a nap instead of having my blood drawn. Okay! Lots of reminding you must do for me! Thank you in advance!

Yes, my appointment is over. Yes, I survived. Yes, I have no bananas. Yes, that was a lie. I have, like, five bananas in the kitchen right now. Three of which are pretty black. Not Lupita Nyong'o black, but Halle Berry black. In a few days I will make banana bread, I swear. Remind me of this as well! In a few days I will make banana bread with a burst of energy, energy which I shall receive from iron pumped directly into my bloodstream. Grossss!!! Necessary. Necessary and gross. In short, I have almost no red blood cells and need to go into the hospital very soon to get an iron infusion or else I will need a blood transfusion. Lots of fusing going on here.

It all sounds scary. And I guess it is scary, but not as scary as it could be. I have dealt with this in the past and I will deal with it again now. There isn't much more to tell about today's appointment aside from the fact that I nearly passed out twice and started crying in the waiting room. Ohhhh... And the Universe did a really cool thing and had me run into an important person from my past. He was leaving his appointment at the clinic, I was going to mine. I am still processing that run-in, but it was good. And we hugged. Twice. And it was nice. And I hate unintentionally rhyming. I don't even really care for intentional rhymes. But I do care for this friend and I am so happy that I was able to see him, especially at such a worrisome time.

So here I am, back at home, my mind still racing and scattered. But night is approaching, I have my tea, I have some answers, and I have at least a little bit of peace. And for the most part I have my health. And, somehow, I have a lot of courage. Damn, I am proud of myself. I am stronger than I realize, you know? Remind me when I forget.