mash

What the...?! I think I gained a follower! Who what where when why how. Of course, maybe I'm just not remembering "my numbers" correctly. That's not true. I always remember numbers. I do weird things with numbers, such as assign numbers to characters on M*A*S*H. No, really. I did this. When I was little. I still remember that the number 5 was Hawkeye and Hot Lips was the number 7 (although clearly she was a 10). Anyway, welcome, new follower! You are probably spam, but even spam deserves love. (Is Spam vegan? I am guessing the answer is definitely not, but it is also definitely not meat.)

Hi, this is my blog. I italicize a lot and use far too many parenthetical statements and litter the place with run-on sentences and second guess myself like it's going out of fashion. Well, guess what? Second-guessing yourself is never going to go out of fashion. But overalls will. But I don't care. I really really really want a pair of overalls. Not tight, trendy overalls. Oh goodness no. I want legit farmer overalls. But with a butt flap because I ain't got time to unfasten them when nature comes a-callin'.

Sigh. I think I just lost a follower.

Speaking of losing things, over the past month or so I will, out of nowhere, be reminded of the friends that I have lost, usually over the most insignificant, trivial things -- things I can't really recall. It pains me. I feel like in most cases it was mostly my fault, too. Blame it on Borderline Personality Disorder. Blame it on the weather. "Hey, it's a sunny day! Let me flush a friendship down the toilet!" Okay, it's no use blaming outside factors. Nor is it much use to blame oneself. But it is useful to do the whole "let me learn from my past mistakes" thing. I am working on that. I am trying to confront myself and take a legit look into my behaviors and patterns. It's way fun, highly recommended, not at all paralyzing. Actually, it's not paralyzing. It's liberating. What's paralyzing is living an existence based on lies and delusions. Lies and delusions go hand-in-hand with fear. Fear is paralysis.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

Have you ever had just the teeniest, tiniest swig of caffeine and then twenty minutes later you are paralyzed with anxiety? My life. Guess fear and Frappuccinos paralyze you. Or me. Or both of us? And no, I'm not drinking a Frappuccino. I just have this fondness for alliteration.

I want to open up a store called Caps-n-Chinos where I sell caps, chinos, and cappuccinos. And, for some reason, nutcrackers. Okay, bye!