cause

Sometimes I feel like I don't exist until I frantically type up a blog post. So here we go. Let me exist, let me exist.

I have not one single new thing to tell you. Doesn't this fact make you eager to read the rest of this post? Except for it's not a fact. Of course I have new things to tell you. Every moment gives us something new to say, whether or not we end up saying it. Or realizing it. In other words, the world is infinitely stimulating and infinitely infinite and this will be the cause of my insanity later in life. Is my impending insanity sooner rather than later? Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I also wonder if I use the word "impending" correctly. Meh.

The reason I said I don't have a single new thing to tell you is because all I want to talk about is Buddhism and Sherman Alexie and a little bit of anime and Bulgaria and Thailand and food and yurts and, well, you've heard about these things from me before. Plenty of times. Too many times. And don't even get me started bitching about anemia and writer's block. See? Same old, same old.

I COULD discuss my eating disorder, yeah? I've never done that before. Sarcasm! But for realz, I could go on and on about that -- and maybe I should? Maybe I should get real serious about really discussing my battle with eating disorders because a) it would be therapeutic (hopefully), b) it would help someone else (hopefully), and c) I could turn my ramblings into some kind of self-help/memoir book about ED because a lot of the other ED books out there are soooo cheesy and poorly written and predictable. NOT saying mine would be a masterpiece, but at least I would bring something new to the ED table. Maybe? Bring something new to the plate. The dinner plate. Such as dinner. Eat up. Feast. Just have a sandwich! See. Now you're cured. Again, sarcasm.

Okay, well. I have a few things to think about on my 14 hour walk (give or take ten hours). I want to do things. I want to stop living day-to-day dead set on a mediocre -- and exhausting -- schedule. I want to take myself more seriously and, you know, give myself a chance. I can do more than I think I can. I'm not a completely lost cause.