I'm not entirely sure I have it in me to pump out a blog post today. I'm not sure I am capable of pumping out anything today. Which makes sense! We lost an hour of sleep last night! It's a springlike Sunday! The monumental task of grocery shopping is hanging over my head and I cannot think of anything else! But I will try. I will give it the old college try. I was in college for a long time, huh? And a dumb, unrealistic part of me wants to go back to college. I feel like I can't do anything but have keggers and panty raids. Joke. I feel like I can't do anything but listen to lectures for an hour and a half and then write a persuasive essay on the benefits of meditation. I NEVER WROTE A PAPER ABOUT MEDITATION IN COLLEGE. But I did write a paper about Buddhism in the West, which is somewhat similar. It was a damn good essay, too. Not persuasive, but very insightful and dare I say scholarly. I dared.
I won't go back to college, though. Not quite yet. I think working with a gaggle of college kids last year sort of turned me off on the idea of being on a college campus again. Bless their hearts. Bless their hungover, Holden Caulfield-ish hearts. So what will I do? It's all I have been trying to figure out since 2010 when I accidentally graduated with a useless degree. It's not useless! My degree helped me to read War and Peace in a week! And, uh, it helped me to beat myself up over grammatical errors and typos??? Okay, yeah, sure.
I consider. I consider so much that I never quite get to the deciding and doing parts. I collect interests and future plans like stamps or rocks. I also get severely distracted and suddenly disinterested. Meghan is a kite. Meghan is a sponge. Meghan is a camel. Meghan is whomever (or whatever) she decides to be if only Meghan could decide.
For now I have decided to leave this post half-baked and go get baaaaked, maaaan!!! NOT. Psych. JKing you so hard right now. Punk'd forever. I am not going to get baked, but perhaps later I will bake something with oats and plant milk and coconut oil. I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But I am considering it.
Now time for shopping carts and Muzak and strangers in their pajama bottoms picking up processed junk for their junky children. I just love love love what I'm about to do. Wish me luck! And remind me to pick up the pineapple and stick it on my head. Don't ask why, just accept me for who I am. I'm trying to do the same.