Friday, March 11, 2016


Make America Gravy Again! Wait, that's how I started my previous post. But isn't that how I should start every post? Basically I just need to get a first sentence out of the way so that my thoughts and words can start flowing, even if that sentence is ridiculous and horrible and in no way indicative of what's to come. So what is to come? I feel as if a bunch of nonsense is about to be spewed forth. "Spewed forth"? I prefer writing those posts that are more introspective, reflective, not so frantic. Maybe a bit on the melancholy side, but at least they are following some kind of linear path. BUT WHEN YOU FEEL AS HYPER AS I DO, ALL DECENT WRITING GOES OUT THE WINDOW!!! Okay, the caps lock is deceptive. I am not that hyper. Plus, the word "hyper" seems like it belongs to a group of junior high children after snorting a fat line of Pixy Stix dust. I do not feel young enough to use the word hyper to describe myself. I am, shall we say, more energetic than I have been in a few weeks. WHAT GIVES?

I haven't changed my diet or sleep patterns, both of which are less than ideal. Is it the iron and B12 supplements? It's either that or I was nearly hit by a truck from a chemical plant and drenched with a top-secret chemical called GC-161. GC-161 gives me strange powers, of course. And of course this is the plot to the '90s Nickelodeon show The Secret World of Alex Mack. As if you didn't know. As if you didn't spend your 4th of July ten years ago with the start of Alex Mack. Alex Mack herself, nice as hell and the bearer of subpar veggie burgers. Okay, so I didn't try the veggie burgers at the time, but if Alex Mack and I somehow cross paths again this Independence Day, I will eat as many of her veggie burgers as I possibly can. And then we will fall in love because HELLO she also played Dawn in The Baby-Sitters Club.

Oh! Just hit a wall. Maybe I should take this as a sign that I should eat something. What do responsible, smart, strong athletes eat and/or drink after running? Chocolate milk? Chocolate almond milk in my case. Or a banana and some nuts? Oh great. A phallic looking fruit followed by some nuts. Just great.

First let me wash my hair while I overthink what to eat. If only Ms. Mack could be my personal chef. If only.

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