Saturday, March 12, 2016


Make America Gravy Again! I need to stop this joke. I need to stop all jokes about Trump because everything about him has ceased to be funny and has started to be deeply, deeply troubling. It was troubling all along, but the danger of him, his campaign, and his brainwashed weirdos is quickly escalating. Everybody and their dog and their cat and their trendy hedgehog is saying this, but I will sincerely move out of the country if he is elected. He will not be elected. Will he be elected? A small part of me (a very small, dark, idiotic part) wishes for him to be elected only so I can be an expat in a romantic place like Iceland (fjords are sexy, okay?) and write about my adventures in a foreign country. BUT THEN WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE OTHER AMERICAN CITIZENS WHO DO NOT HAVE THE OPTION OR LUXURY OF LEAVING THE COUNTRY. And what about the total chaos which will erupt throughout the world if Trump becomes the leader of the free world? Hmmm? What about all of those things, Meg? Point taken.

Yuck. I did not wish to be spend a paragraph spewing forth my opinion and extreme dislike of Donald Trump. Sometimes we get things we do not expect, though, you know? And why have I been using the phrase "spew(ing) forth" lately? It's somewhat vulgar. So. Quick update: I did well again today running! What is up with that? Three days in a row? I can't start down that seductive path, however, of pushing myself to exhaustion. Shut up, inner critic! Hello, healthy voice! Goodbye, ED! Hello, me! Hello life hello creativity hello love hello tranquility and community and compassion and goals and health and to everything else ED steals from me with no remorse. Bastard! Good riddance.

I have a few goals for today. Typing them out and subjecting you to read them will help me, I dunno, achieve them? Achieve your goals, Meggie! Shoot for the moon or at least a black hole! Fall into that black hole and be prepared to be squashed into a single point of infinite density. Anyway. Goals.

Goals for Saturday, specifically this Saturday:

*Find my food processor that I purchased years and years ago and used once and figure out how to use it again. And maybe even use it.

*Don't get super pissed off at strangers. Or non-strangers. People will be outside. It's a nice day. It's Saturday. Expect that. People will be loud and boisterous and, for whatever reason, using a chainsaw. Expect that. Not only expect these things, but accept them -- or at least accept that you cannot change them. Go about your merry way and silently vow to never own a chainsaw. You'll be fine.

*Plan your lunch and dinner and actually eat and enjoy and be grateful for your lunch and dinner. Eventually you will not have to plan what you eat. Eventually you will be the poster child for intuitive eating. But until then, sweet dear, plan away. You got this. You rock. You'll be fine. You'll even be better than fine. You'll be joyful.

*Take a freakin' shower, you filthy animal.


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