Tuesday, December 22, 2015


Here's how I wanted to start this post: Life is scary! Love is impossible! Snow is falling! Where's the sun! Do I prefer pleasure or pain! Why don't more animals have thumbs!

I am sure you could answer at least one of those questions (although they were panicked exclamations, not questions), but don't bother. I don't need any answers or reassurance. What I do need is the courage to leave the house and go to the grocery store. Snow produces both wonder and anxiety in me, which is pretty much my reaction to everything. I need to learn to tone it down. I need to learn to do a lot of things.

Things to learn:

*how to do this whole adult thing, like paying taxes, getting the oil changed, checking the furnace
*how to not be afraid of commitment
*wilderness survival skills
*how to swim
*to not multitask while trying to write
*yoga, I guess
*the scriptures of the world's religions
*how to french braid
*how to knit, sure sure, would be cool

I also want to learn how to sit down for an extended period of time without getting restless or feeling guilty. Yes, I feel guilty for sitting! Yes, I have a monumental problem with guilt and I'm not even a Jew! Sometimes I wish I was, though. A Jew. Not necessarily a guilty Jew, but a Jew.

I think I have a pizza hangover this morning. I am struggling to say what I want to say, but then again I didn't really come in here with anything to say. I just like the sound of typing.

I will write something way better way later, like sometime in 2018. I just need a few years to learn a few things. Stay tuned.

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