Sunday, January 17, 2016

handle

Here I am, part three. What did I say earlier? That I would write six posts today or something? I can almost promise you that I won't make it to six, but three? I can handle three.

So how did I handle other things today? Glad you asked. Kind of glad you asked. I don't really know the answer, but let's try to find it together. Okay, so I didn't go the gym and compulsively exercise. I handled it better than I thought I would. The lack of anxiety over not running gives me anxiety. I did, however, go on a 4-hour walk. Part of it was because it was a balmy 45 degrees and the other part of it was that I felt like I was obligated to walk for hours since I skipped the gym. Really silly, I know. But also damn depressing. Still, I enjoyed the walk. But how to balance? I have yet to figure that one out.

Did I handle packing well today? Yeah, sure, sort of. I didn't really pack that much. How could I if I was outside roaming the streets for over four hours? But the packing didn't stress me out. That's good. I just didn't know where to start or how to pack effectively. Gingerly place items in random boxes. Get distracted. Tweet something or maybe three somethings. Wipe off the counters. Check on my laundry. Write a blog post. Take a selfie or seven. Repeat.

How did I handle my inevitable evening anxiety? Not well. Not terrible, but not well. The night is still young. Anything could happen. Meg, you can turn this ship around! You can end the day with a bang/burrito! It's true, I can. I purchased a burrito today for $0.88 at Harmons. I don't even want it. You know what I want? Conversation. I, the classic hermit, actually desire face-to-face conversation with another human. Please don't let any hormones get in the way of the conversation. I want it to be pure. I want to have no agenda, no self-conscious tics. I want to listen and to be heard. Let the frozen $0.88 cent burrito remain frozen; it's the thawed out heart I desire. <--- goofy sentence, yes. Maybe four posts will happen today. Don't count on it, but also don't not count on it. Also, I am glad I purchased that frozen burrito. It isn't a replacement for human interaction, no, but it is close. It is close.

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