Tuesday, January 12, 2016


I wish my bathroom wasn't so disgusting because it's really quite warm in there right now. Wow, that was a great way to begin a post, huh? Why do I even begin posts anymore? They just get me into trouble. Lately it seems like a lot of things I have done/said/written/painted have gotten me into trouble. (JK ABOUT THE PAINTING PART. For now.) And I swear upon all that is holy and beautiful that my intentions are never, ever bad. C'mon! Okay, maybe sometimes my intentions are slightly not great, but never full-on terrible. This is the worst opening paragraph.

Let me begin again. Yes, I could simply delete what I wrote above, but no, I will not simply delete what I wrote above because HEY! THIS IS ME. Like me or not -- and I know very well that some of you don't think highly of me -- I will be true to myself. Except for when I'm false. Sometimes you have to be false, like when you say to a child who can't master the art of skipping, "Wow! You are getting so much better!" (Look, this is from personal experience. I was a handicapped skipper as a 4-year-old. My legs and brain decided to not work together. But bless the teacher who lied to my face and told me I was improving.) Or when you see your ex and you are, like, "Wow! You are getting so much better!" See. Sometimes you/I just have to be false. But for the most part I will be true, even if that lands me in a handful of awkward and uncomfortable situations. I yam what I yam, in other words.

But enough about yams. Why are you still reading this? I promise there is nothing even remotely controversial ahead, so you may as well stop snooping/reading/skipping. I guess I can let it be known now that I am moving back to Orem for a hot minute. Well, it could be a couple of hot minutes, I am not sure. I am not sure about anything, which isn't necessarily breaking news. But I am fairly sure that I need to take a big pause and a) save up money, b) get treatment for my depression/anxiety/eating disorder/borderline personality disorder, c) swallow my pride, d) live a simpler, quieter, calmer life. And will a move back to Strip Mall City do these things for me? No. No, they will not do these things for me, because that's my job. A town can only provide an environment; it's up to me to do what I need to do in any given environment. And I have been given another chance, a chance to prove to nobody but myself that I can not only survive, but thrive. I wish myself the best of luck. Now let's get started.

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