Sunday, June 21, 2015


Sundays are the best days. I deserve a Sunday after a Saturday. Saturdays are the worst days. Saturdays are full of very determined people rushing about, polluting the environment with noise and, well, pollution, and filling in every damn second with busyness. Relax! Stop kicking that soccer ball! Or kick it for a little bit and then relax! Sit in a hammock for Buddha's sake. And then we finally collapse into our lonely beds in order to eventually wake up to the greatest day God made. It's the greatest! People chill the eff out. They brunch. They read the newspaper on their iPads. They go for a freakin' stroll. Strollin' around like you own this town. That's what I do. I own this town. I own this town and everything that has happened to me in this town! Anyway, a man in a suit just walked by the window. I want to yell at him, in a very gentle way, that he needs to rip off that suffocating suit and find a hammock STAT! C'mon, maaan. Swallow that chill pill and throw on some Jimmy Buffet. While you're at it, you might as well whip yourself up a margarita. I'll provide the tiny paper umbrella.

Hmmm... I hit a wall. Logging onto Facebook isn't going to break that wall, Meg. Okay okay okay, logging off. It's not that hard to log off these days. I am more interested in going through my dusty junk and knick knacks and giving them away. I get a lot when I give a lot, you know? Put THAT on a coffee mug why don't you. Seriously, why don't you? I know, it would probably take a lot of effort to find a coffee mug company to print "I get a lot when I give a lot" on a mug. And you'd have to pay for shipping and handling and... What exactly is "handling"? What if you just want to pay for the shipping and not the handling? Or what if you just want someone to handle your personalized mug instead of shipping it to your personalized front door? And why, might I ask, did you personalize your front door? Is that going to help or hurt the value of your house?

I am reminded every ten minutes or so that I am living in a very extroverted world. It is a world hostile to introverts. It is a world where people want to chat, where people don't even think twice about calling you on the phone. It is a world that can't be left alone. Well well well, when will they realize the value in solitude? When will they/bros on Facebook realize that I am not the girl who will ever ever ever want to instant message with you? Or anyone? Look, I'm not a hermit. Okay, I'm sometimes a hermit. Like, half of the year I am a hermit. But the other half of the year I am a wanderer. I don't mind wandering around with another person, so long as they give me ample time alone and realize that we don't have to constantly do do do (do do?). And good god don't make me go to parties. There are only a few "parties" I would be willing to attend and they are parties that involve blanket forts and books and maybe Bananagrams. Otherwise, let me be. Leave me be. Leave it to Meg to end this post with a picture of a dog meditating with a shit ton of birds.

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