Monday, June 15, 2015


My hair looks so good tonight, but no one's around to enjoy it. I should date someone just so they can enjoy my good hair days with me.

An ultimate goal of mine is to lead a ridiculously simple existence. I want to own next to nothing and live in a closet. Not an actual closet. I'm comin' out of the closet and movin' into a dwelling that is slightly bigger than a closet, but not by much. It is also made of glass so that it feels as though I am outside at all times. Do not throw any rocks at my glass closet, which might be tempting to do because I have a zen rock garden in lieu of a front lawn. Lawns can kiss my grass! They waste water. Water is necessary. A front yard full of green green grass is not. Neither is clutter. Get rid of it all and start living!

The left side of my body feels weird and my right eye may have gotten a lot of shampoo in it earlier today. Should I be concerned about these things? I'll figure it out later.

I'll figure out everything later, right? Or I won't. It's one or the other. I'm good with the limited number of outcomes. Simple.

Let's go back to the topic of water. Is it too late for me to become a competitive surfer and to be sponsored by Roxy and/or Billabong? The answer is yes. I don't like how simple that outcome is, but it is what it is. JK. I hate that platitude. It is what it is, except for when it's not. I will still dream, secretly, of riding the waves and hanging ten and, uh, cutting a rug. Cutting a rug has to do with dancing, not surfing, huh? Well, pin a rose on my nose and suck it. You can't take it with you! Things happen for a reason! Every cloud has a silver lining and every silver lining has a playbook. In the book of life there are a limited number of chapters. The butler did it. Don't throw zen rocks at glass closets. Simplify your life and let go and let god. What if god was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus trying to make His way home. Pope. Popes. I am the next POPE! Get ready! Get your chai on!

Ugh. I'm hungry. Catch ya sec-see foxes l8r.

No comments: