Saturday, January 31, 2015

why fight how much we love our wifi? also, you are a cloud.

Noooooo Internet!!! Hello! Hello from the past. I suppose every post I post is from the past. In fact, I am very suspicious that there is anything but the past, that there is anything but clouds. I'll get to the cloud thing in a minute. In the future, I will get to that weird cloud statement I made in the past. Wait wait wait, is there a future? Now that is another thing of which I am suspicious. So let us make ourselves at home with the past, which is our present, which doesn't exist except for in the form of the past. The present is the past. But don't take my word for it. I have often been wrong in the past.

And then there's that weird thing I said about clouds. Buddhists have been saying it for decades now (not that decades are an actual measurement of time because there is not really any particular way to measure the imaginary) -- we are clouds! You came from a cloud and you will return to a cloud. This little pinpoint of energy BOOM and then all of creation came from it. So maybe clouds are energy and maybe I'm using up my energy running circles around myself with this insufferable style of writing. Style? I have a style? I guess I do. I am sorry for how disjointed these posts have been lately. I would be pretty annoyed of them by now if I were you; I would stop reading them. I don't blame you. I never have! But if you must read on, then you must. Bless your heart. Bless your heart, which is a cloud and is a part of me. I see shapes in your heart, but for some reason they never cover up the sun.

Okay, so still no Internet. I don't really know why and I am no Internet scientist, so I can't properly fix whatever it is that is wrong... Assuming that having no Internet is a malady. I think it is. Well, it is today. Except except except it is also a bit of a relief. As I've never said before, but will say right now: "Give me the Internet or give me freedom!" And life has forced me to have freedom these past 24 hours. I have been banished to the land of watercolors and books with actual paper pages and in person conversations with in person persons. I have had to step outside and see ourselves floating by in the sky that has, remarkably, always been there. We just needed to log off and look up.

So bye bye, Internet. For now. I will absolutely allow you to trap me in your web when you return. I'm no genius; I am a pleasant fool living in a temporary present. It is nice, it is fleeting, it is providing me with some paths to wander around instead of running around in circles with a distracted mind and multiple tabs open. But again, it won't last. I'll be the first to admit that the last thing I tend to do is stay in the middle. But maybe I'll let this no connection connect me to what I have shut up for too long. Open the door, Meg! Open and enjoy the circus of wonder above.

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