Thursday, January 29, 2015


Minutes! Merely minutes until I need to get ready for whatever it is that I have to get ready for. Oh right. Work. Work was so much better yesterday. Not great by any means, but I think I just resigned myself to the fact that I had to be there and so I was just... There. I didn't let my mind wander off thinking about all of the other places I could be and all of the other things I wish wish wish I could be doing. And so I just sat there and graded boring papers or stood there and made sure milk cartons were opened properly. And it was okay. At the very least, I was more pleasant to be around.

No, this won't be another post about my job. You are welcome. Why do I feel so compelled to write a post every morning? It has almost turned into a soothing ritual. I have other rituals, ones much odder than writing a blog post, that I shall not mention because they are too odd and complicated to explain. And why would you want to hear about them anyway? What do you want to hear? I'll tell you anything! Almost anything! I'm an open book! An almost open book! Like, I'm open, but the spine hasn't been completely cracked.

When I was a kid, the school nurse was worried I might have a curved spine. We kept our eye on it, I think, and it never created a problem. I think. I don't think it matters anymore. I am a lot older now and my spine seems just fine. My eyes, fingers, and toes, however, are taking a beating. I know a lot of people say this as kind of a joke, but the day I turned 30, I swear I started noticing more aches and pains and sheer terror about the future. I'm overwhelmed. Does it get easier? Or maybe we just get used to feeling like a rusty bike. I'd go back to training wheels if it meant the rust would disappear.

Now it's time stop chewing on ice and talking about bikes and spines and get ready for the BEST DAY OF WORK EVER. I won't let the dumb little things get to me today. I won't I won't I won't. I swear. I will be perfectly content doing menial tasks and making small talk with adults who don't know my name and constantly interrupt. I will feel my spine and remind myself that it is straight as an arrow. I will ignore the pain in my fingers for one more day and pray that tomorrow I drink less caffeine. I mean it when I say I love all of you and that I promise to step up by blogging game. Because this is all just a game, isn't it? Batter up.

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