Friday, January 2, 2015

two oh fifteen

Here we are, kids! Another year! We made it, even if we are bruised and all of our stuffing is falling out. Just a few patches here and there and we will be well on our way. On our way to what, exactly? What is it that we need to do this year that we didn't do last year? Does it matter? I know we all probably have our hangups when it comes to resolutions -- they are a recipe for failure, they take us away from the present moment, they make us feel as though there is something just so crappy about us to begin with that we need to really make some huge changes in order to be simply acceptable. Then again, resolutions help us to continue. Resolutions can help us become more aware of our actions/words/thoughts. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Resolutions. Deep sigh.

So if you are at all interested in reading about my sorta resolutions, then keep on reading. If you aren't interested, I am not offended. Just deeply, deeply embarrassed. Psych. This is the year I vow to not be embarrassed or apologetic for WHO I AM. This might also have to be the year I discover exactly who I am or if the "I" even exists (pretty sure it doesn't, but I'm willing to be wrong).

I want to learn. A lot. Last year I read a lot of literature. This year I want to shun literature and read all of the non-fiction. All of it. Science and nature and religion and history and philosophy and biographies and maybe even dictionaries. I especially want to read the major religious texts. Does this mean I have to read the bible again? Guess so. But this time I want to read it in Hebrew! That means I will have to read Hebrew for Dummies, doesn't it? Better get started.

Oh yeah. I need to learn how to swim. Eventually. Maybe this summer. Maybe in Crater Lake. Maybe in the Great Salt Lake! Then I can just float.

I would love to become more autonomous. I swear I overuse that word, by the way. I just feel so smart saying "autonomous." Anyway, how do I gain this desired autonomy? It might mean finding a higher paying job, moving into my own li'l apartment, paying for all of my own bills and doing other adult things like getting my oil changed and teeth cleaned. At the same time! A Jiffy Lube dentist office.

Cook more. Eat with other people. Eat in general. Eat a general. Cannibalism 2015!

Date. Ugh. Try it out. Maybe. Screw it! Screw me! JUUUUST kidding. Sorry for that joke, mama. It wasn't even that funny!

Write daily in a journal. Hide the key under my mattress along with my wads of cash.

Watch a lot of good films. Some good, some great, some so weird that it makes my head explode and my brain fall into a black hole. A cinematic black hole.

Know everything there is to know about every National Park in the country. Be that person who charms people at cocktail parties with random National Park facts.

Volunteer more in an attempt to not be an asshole. There is more out there than just me. If I can help at least a little, let me.

Learn. I already mentioned this, but seriously. I want to learn and keep on learning and discover and rediscover and uncover.

Get out of my comfort zone, whether that is through traveling abroad, working in a National Park seasonally, becoming an organic farmer, or giving cannibalism a try. (Okay, so I think it's kind of disgusting that I keep making cannibalism jokes. Cannibalism is horrific and I should just not attempt at making it hilarious.)

Go to Dollywood.

Love you, kittens. Thank you for letting me be a weirdo. Even if you tried to stop me from being a weirdo, I wouldn't let ya.


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