Thursday, January 8, 2015


Rest assured, I am not always gloomy. I am not always thrown into the pit of despair, people! Just more often than not in the winter! That's to be expected! These exclamations are making my heart race! Or maybe that's the caffeine! How many of us decided to give up caffeine in 2015 and are already on our third cup of coffee? Well, we tried!

There are many wonderful things in my life. And by "things" I mostly mean "people." I have a family who, despite our quirks and expected shortcomings, are loving, sensitive, and just damn good folk. We struggle, we're mostly solitary, but we still stand by one another.

And then there are my best friends, Ben and Jerry. GET IT?! Like the ice cream. Ben & Jerry's. Like, I love ice cream. So much. I like Cherry Garcia, which surprised me because I'm not a huge fan of cherries. Sure, I like cherries better than I like, say, being waterboarded, but they are not my favorite. WHICH is why it's odd that Cherry Garcia is my favorite! It must be because it's the only flavor of Ben & Jerry's that I've tried. That could be why.

Oh yeah, best friends. So I have them. And they are great, which is a relief. Wouldn't it be a bummer to have best friends who also happen to be your worst enemies? That probably happens in high schools all across America, huh? Oh what I wouldn't give to be an insecure and hormonal teenager again. Okay! Back to my best friends! I am thinking in particular of Laura. She and I have been friends for over 15 years. We have never been enemies, either! Although there were those 6 months when we weren't talking to each other because our feelings were hurt over something I can't now recall. Not a boy. Definitely not a boy. Laura and I have never really competed over boys, thank the lord. In fact, I'm just holding out for the day when Laura and I retire to a New Mexican ranch with our five dogs and our fleet of Subarus and our REI memberships.

The last thing I want to discuss ever is my job because it usually sucks my soul dry, but briefly I will mention the kids I work with: They are also great! They are the only reason I stay at this black-hole-of-a-job. I do not get to interact with them as often as I like (I'm usually banished to the back of the classroom to staple papers), but when I do they remind me that we are all awful when we become adults. The children are refreshing, curious, and far better conversationalists than the gross grownups!!! Down with grownups!!! (Does this mean I have Peter Pan Syndrome? It's a thing. I have all the things. I have all the syndromes.)

Then there are YOU LOVELY SOULS. You really do make me feel less alone in this universe. Knowing that you take the time to read the ramblings I throw up (as in propel with force through the air, not puke) on the screen is deeply flattering and humbling and sometimes embarrassing. But everyone should be embarrassed at least once a day. Preferably in front of children because they are forgiving and also do embarrassing things, like, all the time.

There you have it, cuddle bugs! My outlook and my life really isn't always a cloud of sadness. In fact, clouds are never sad. Clouds are beautiful and ephemeral and us. Clouds are us. We are born from clouds and we live with that knowledge buried deep within. Now that you know (or rather, remembered) that you are a cloud, go out and celebrate with triple scoops of Cherry Garcia. You deserve it.

No comments: