Monday, January 12, 2015


The most interesting thing happened to me this morning!!! Psych. But I DID have to go to Costco to order contacts. And I was dreading it. All morning. And last night. And the days leading up to today. I just can't with Costco. The crowds, the shopping carts, the people, the carts, the people with shopping carts, and so forth. But, like, everything else about Costco is pretty cool. They treat their employees well, their Clif bars are a decent price, and the pharmacist always flirts with me. Okay! That concludes this post! Psych again. I am not sure where I am going with this, but I wanted to write before going into work. Oh, did I say "work"? I meant "stapling papers in a dark corner for minimum wage." Hey, I guess that is work. Someone's gotta staple the papers. Like my old zen master once told me, "When you sleep, sleep. When you chop wood, chop wood. When you staple papers in a dark corner, find a new job."

Oh, so Costco. Here's the thing: It wasn't bad. At all. Like, it took ten minutes to drive there, order contacts, and drive back. And here I thought it was going to take up my entire morning and I would have no time left to read my books and write my blog post about Costco and, you know, dick around before my hours spent stapling. But no! Now I have too much time! Well, you can never have too much time, especially since it's non-existent.

I should stop worrying so much. About everything. Why? Because in reality most things are waaay less of a big deal than they are in my head. Real life is, like, "Meh." And I'm, like, "Help!!!!!!" Not everything is a massive mountain, Meg. Relax. Gingerly step over that molehill. You'll be fine.

I think I need to remind myself to, yes, live in the present moment. Or rather, I need a rich white dude from Napa Valley or wherever to remind me in the form of a bestselling self-help book to live in the present moment. Maybe I should attend one of his workshops for a thousand bucks and have him tell me IN PERSON exactly what he shit out in his book. What I mean is that I am sick of being told by millionaire gurus to breathe and be present and live in the now. But maybe I should actually start listening. Like my old zen master once told me, "You can take the rich white dude out of the present moment, but you can never take the rich white dude out to lunch because he's currently on a juice cleanse."

Let's stop worrying, sweethearts! Let's challenge ourselves to stop seeing every situation as an impossible challenge! Let's ride around Costco in a shopping cart while singing show tunes at the top of our lungs and freak out the establishment! Let's live a little, love a lot, and link our arms together while we make the world a less scary place. Because it can be so beautiful if we just let it be.

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