Monday, February 13, 2012


"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity." - Simone Weil

This needs to be tattooed on my body somewhere - or at least written on a 3x5 card and taped to my mirror. I can't begin to tell you how important attention and the selfless act of listening is in my life. Well, I suppose I CAN begin to tell you because I am writing a post about it right now.

I refuse to be an asshole, so I shall not name names of people in my life who have been poor listeners/observers. But there are those select few who have been and it has really put me in funks. I get frustrated and wonder how they could be so selfish not to notice this, this, and this about me/my life. But then I have to take a step back and ask myself if I am just doing the same thing to them - do I know their current struggles/joys? Do I stop and give them my full attention when they are telling me about their day? In many cases, probably not. And so I am a hypocrite. And so I am really trying to change this. And so I will listen to you.

But you have to promise to start listening to me as well. I know you don't read this because I've asked you about it before - do you read my blog? Why, no, I didn't know you had a blog. But I've told you about it a couple of times before... I've even sent you the link... I want you to know what goes on in my life if you'd just take the time to put down your phone and read. Or listen. Or ask. Or react.

I don't think I'm being "too sensitive." I believe women spend too much time apologizing for and downplaying their needs. And I won't do that anymore. I have a voice and I will use it; all I ask from you is that you listen.


ariana said...

yes! yes. YES. OKAY i always comment on the word verification, but they're always so relevant! this time it is "persiver" - kind of like persevere, no? (elbow nudging). persevere through the non-listeners! persevere and assess your needs and don't be afraid to express them! hm maybe it's not like that, but more like per silver - hello i would like to be paid per silver, please. anyway. the point is this post is awesome and I CONCUR.

Thirdmango said...

Listening is something I think a lot of people never really learn how to do properly. My brother is severely autistic and his verbal communication is extremely low and so instead of listening we all really had to learn to read body language. Then I went on to work with autistic teenagers and with each of them you have to understand what they want through their body language. I say this because then when it came to talking with people in person, most people aren't used to people being able to read their body language and so they almost become an open book to me. Like someone will say, "Hey you should read my blog," and just saying that sometimes it's "Hey here's a reading recommendation." Or it could be, "I'm telling you specifically because we don't get to talk often and I want you to know how my life is." That is the funny thing about blogs, I have a mix of people who I want to read my blog and some I don't really care if they do, and I get a little bit of both.

What is a bit troubling to me is that I've become so used to being able to communicate in person really well, that I have no ability to communicate in text. As you can probably tell from these comments I'm a bit long winded. This is more the case in writing for me and texts/tweets are just too short.

Also you should read my blog. ;)

Meg said...

I love your self-awareness. You are such a great example to me. <3

Rachel said...

yes, yes, yes! I need attention even from the person I sleep with every night and I have to tell him or else I think and do crazy things. Thank you for liking my fb statuses throughout that contest.

meg said...

Ariana, I prefer to be paid per bronze, but maybe that's just because I have chronically low self-esteem and don't think I deserve anything above 3rd place. Wait, what am I talking about? Gold all the way! Goin' for the gold! To the top! I've got Jazz fever!

Thirdmango (I like calling you that, by the way), I really appreciate your comments. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I am following your blog now! And I genuinely like it a lot!

Meg, you've always been a great example to me. <3

Rachel, attention is a tricky thing, isn't it? Also, CONGRATS ON WINNING! That is so so so cool. SO COOL.