Blogger? But I hardly know her. I've made that joke before, haven't I? Not that you would remember. It's not that great of a joke. Although bad jokes are sometimes the most memorable ones, so...? Who knows why you can't remember my blogger joke. Who knows why I even joke. OH I KNOW WHY. It's because it is an effective way to simultaneously avoid and confront pain.
You know what rhymes with pain? Tim Kaine. And cocaine. Now I'm not implying that Kaine is a pain -- I, as a progressive Millennial in 21st-century America, quite like Mr. Kaine. And cocaine. KIDDING, MOM! But not kidding, everyone else. BUT am I kidding about not kidding? Who knows why I even kid. OH I KNOW WHY. It's because it is an effective way to simultaneously avoid and confront pain not caused by Tim Kaine (but maybe by cocaine).
Let me talk more about kids. Kids as in baby goats, not humans. Okay, let me talk about the baby humans as well. First, goats. Aren't they great? I know they are kind of trendy for people like me, a progressive Millennial in 21st-century America, but whatever. Some trends are trends because they are wonderful. Goats are natural lawnmowers, goats produce milk that can be turned into excellent cheese, and goats make for fun dinner conversation/Instagram photos. I see nothing wrong with adopting a herd of goats.
But I DO see everything wrong with adopting a herd of children. I joke yet again!!! Rule: Always assume everything I say/write is a haha lol knee slapper. Back to kids and adoption and the possible wanting of kids for myself. YOU HEARD ME. I think it may just be a very, very brief phase I'm going through, but sometimes I think, "Hmmm. Kids. I kind of want them?" Then again, no way. I would much rather have, yes, dogs and goats and a few cats and possibly a turtle. Would I be "missing out" by not having children? Sure, in some ways. But I'd also be missing out on other things by having children. It's the truth, people. I'm not even joking.
And I'm not going to get into what exactly I'd be missing out on by having/not having children only because boooooring and also because I'm at the end of a really cool ass mystery. I'll stop typing up words right now to go read the words of another. What a relief to not constantly be trapped in a fairly deserted land of my words. I'm free to wander the streets of other cities and towns, bumping into strangers who oddly enough become fast friends.