Saturday, May 28, 2016


Nothing is less pleasant to me this morning than shrieking children right outside the window. Look, I don't mind laughter or even shouting, but shrieking? Who raised you little gremlins? A skulk of red foxes? (I googled "shrieking animals" and the first result was red foxes. Their shrieks are used to attract mates. Get a room, Vulpes vulpes! And a group of foxes is called a skulk, according to the Internet. And a female fox is called a "vixen." And I once, at the age of 27-ish, bought a fox stuffed animal at Yellowstone because I was emotionally fragile and needed some kind of comfort, which I momentarily found in the form of an overpriced toy sewn from a textile and stuffed with a soft material.)

So shrieking! Yes! Pleasant! Continue! It stopped. Reverse psychology! I nearly spelled "psychology" as "sychology" because who needs Ps anymore? Speaking of Ps, I have peas down my pants right now. Makeshift ice pack, darlings. It works really well, actually! Last night I spent a good two hours icing and heating my ass. Lying down on the floor watching documentaries about former professional skateboarders, the US/Mexican border, and South Side Compton Crips, I finally took care of myself and let my muscles get the spa treatment. I don't know what "the spa treatment" is, but I'm guessing it probably doesn't have anything to do with a bag of frozen green peas down one's pants. At least not yet.

I am forcing myself to write right now, but I don't think I'm really feeling it. I gotta feel things, you know? Lately I've been a bit robotic, which always concerns me. But do robots feel concern? Probably not, so at least I still have some humanness within me. My robot syndrome is most likely a result of me not handling unpleasant and unexpected events particularly well. I am making some progress, though. It's sort of a two and a half steps forward, two steps back. I am progressing by tiny half steps, but they are steps and I'll take them.

I will also take some kava because damn I drank too much caffeine too quickly this morning. I thought I needed to with the shrieks coming from outside my window/mind. I thought, "Geez, I'm such an adult! Gotta have my coffee fix and then I will transform from a grumbling grump to a productive member of society! Probably right that's how it works well let's just see then..." And I guess it doesn't really work that way, at least not this morning for me. Well, so be it. The shrieks have stopped, my heart has stopped racing, the peas have defrosted, and my butt is pleasantly numb. Today will be a good day. I'll make sure of it.

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