Friday, May 27, 2016


I reeeeeally need to relax if I'm ever going to recover. But I am the most restless person you have ever (or never?) met. No wonder I enjoy running so much -- it releases a lot of that built-up antsy-ness. Channel that energy into something else, Meg! Like writing! Reading! Even 'rithmetic! I know, I know. I know I should and could, but do I? Yes. Does it work? Kinda sorta not really. Maybe there's something wrong with my thyroid? Who knows. The combination of physically restless paired with mentally exhausted is not a good one. But you know what IS a good combo? Pretzels and nacho cheese. And pretzels and mustard. And pretzels and cream cheese. Really, there are endless pairings when it comes to the pretzel. Pretzels and beer, pretzels and wine, pretzels and whisky, pretzels and existential conversations with pretentious philosophy students who double as DJs on the weekends, pretzels and marinara sauce, pretzels and carrots (don't diss it until you try it, bub), pretzels and pills, pretzels and pickles. I can't say enough about the pretzel. Want me to continue? Okay. Pretzels and bananas, pretzels and dark chocolate, pretzels and white chocolate, pretzels and milk chocolate, pretzels and breast milk, pretzels and perfume, pretzels and

Fine. I'll stop, but don't be surprised if I start right back up again in a minute when I inevitably hit a wall/come across a block/trip over my self-doubt. This whole room I'm sitting in smells like ammonia or Lysol or something and I am wondering if it's doing my brain any harm. If it is, it might be welcomed. Fewer brain cells just mean I'm less anxious, right? Is that how it works? Should doctors be prescribing paint fumes instead of prescription pills? Should I be a doctor? Might as well give it a shot. Shoot for the moon and if you miss you'll at least have a stethoscope you can bring to parties as a conversation starter and stopper.

This has been an almost total garbage post, but you know what? At least I'm not smoking doobies with the cool kids under the bleachers at school. Drugs R not cool, kids! Except for Lysol and paint fumes and pretzels. Pretzels and doobies. First the doobie, then the pretzels. MAN, what a combination!

Yeah, definitely a garbage post. Maybe my brain will chill out in an hour or two or twelve and I can write something more focused, insightful, heartbreaking, illuminating, and wise. Maybe. Just maybe.

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