Thursday, April 21, 2016


SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER!!! I can't handle it, I love it so much. Yeah yeah yeah, I dislike the dweebs playing baseball at the park by my house and sure, I want all of the fireworks and carnivals to go straight to the depths of hell, but warm weather and sunshine and the smell of sweaty skin? I'll take it. All of it. I'm starting to stress myself out with how enthusiastic I am about summer. I hate summer.

PSYCH I LOVE IT. You know what else I love? Self-reflection, introspection, therapy sessions. I do not love these things at first, but once the knots start unraveling and I begin traveling into the subconscious mind, things get weird. And I like weird things. Things get weird as well as better, however I define "better." And how do I define "better"? I guess, in short, I define "better" as being connected. Connected to my body, connected to my mind, connected to my spirituality and heart and soul, however I define "soul." And how do I define "soul"? Just kidding. I won't go on defining words until the cows come home. Define home. Define define. Dee is fine. Dee is fine because she finally defined her life and finds meaning in the meaning of words or in other words in the defining of words. I am so great.

Geez, I meant to spend this time diving deep into the subject of archetypes. I wanted to write about all of the intense insights I was having yesterday, about how I struggle with the feelings of power and powerlessness, how I search for both strength and safety in almost every facet of my life, how I trick myself into thinking love is conditional. I will still write about these things if you want me to! Wait. Do I want to? See, there's another thing I do -- I fail to check in with myself to see what I need, what I desire. Instead of attending to my inner-self, I please please please others to the point of frustration and depletion. Well, time to focus on abundance. Time to connect with my own path, my own self. And then, eventually, time to disconnect and abandon the self. Doesn't make sense, does it? No, it doesn't, at least not to the rational mind. Which is perfect. Some things need to not make sense.

I am so freakin' hungry. Time to nourish myself in more ways than one. At last, at last.

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