Distant relative: "So, how's it going?"
Me: "Yeah, things are fine! I worked at a charter school for awhile. Pretty challenging!"
What I really want to say: "I have been fucking goddamn depressed for at least a decade and a half now. An eating disorder almost killed me. I was published multiple times for poetry you would probably hate. I dated some assholes and some sweethearts and I am currently single and oh-so-lonely-and-bi-curious. Have you ever been to the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art? Because I volunteer there. They are great. Art is great! I have a huge interest in art. I actually know a lot about art if you are ever curious. I also read a lot of books a lot of the time. Currently I am interested in Sartre and his idea of the other. You are the other! You are hell! Ha. But seriously, I am in hell. So you still go to church? That sounds dreamy. I often have dreams that I am trapped inside of an amusement park. I also have dreams about being raped. Should we discuss rape right now, because I am fully prepared to discuss it! No? Okay, I can respect that. Anyway, yeah, I worked at a charter school for awhile. Pretty challenging."
1 comment:
i like this a lot... always shy at family reunions, i try to connect with relatives but have no words... and what ends up being said is superficial and not what i'd really like to say or what i'd really like others to know of me. you write of your experience, of course, different and separate from mine or anyone else's. but other people can often relate to what you write -- and so, there's not quite the selfishness in it that you refer to, because it is shared and touching others. that's how i feel about it, anyway.
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