Monday, August 12, 2013


Boys on the side! Why is this phrase stuck in my head? I've never seen the movie, but maybe I should? I'm cool with Whoopie and I'm a fan of the '90s Barrymore when she wore daises in her hair and flashed David Letterman. But yeah! Boys on the motherfuckin' side! Girls. I like the gender and I like the TV show. I like the way the word "girls" sounds better than "boys." "Boys" has that weird "oy" sound that makes us all cringe. (MOIST! OINTMENT! MOIST OINTMENT WITH A SIDE OF OYSTERS!)

Okay alright fine, boys are still pretty coooooool, some of them. And sometimes girls can be pretty crrrrrruuuuuuel, some of the time. And most of the time I have to remind myself that everyone is an individual and to stop stereotyping and that, in the words of Sartre, "hell is other people." That last part about Sartre was just me pretending to be smart. WAIT. Stop it, Meg. You ARE smart. Stop putting yourself down. You are not a side character in your own life. You are the MAIN CHARACTER and the main character deserves a little attention and consideration and maybe even some respect.

Off track. There never WAS a track to begin with. "With which to begin." Is that correct grammar? Is "screw grammar, punk!" also correct grammar? I have a fierce love for and connection to the females in my life. The males seem to have cotton in their ears.

Point is, grow a pair of ovaries and win my affection. I kid. Point is, I will develop my relationships with women and let boys be on the side... For now. Who knows what the future holds! Who knows how much my bladder can hold! Apparently not much because I have to pee once again. Now you know.

And just so you know, I still love you, despite your penis.


kieren said...

I read through this, heart sinking, thinking "I wish this was about me." Then I got to the part about the penis, and I was like "WAIT! HOLD THE EFF UP! There IS still a chance this is about me!" (Get it? 'Cause PENIS? Yo, I got one.)

kieren said...

...yeah, I should never write comments on blogs. One minute later I sober up and realize that I sound a fool.