ON MY MIND
"On my mind"? What, exactly, does that mean? Is something literally placed on top of my mind? Don't even ask me where I believe my mind is located. Fine, ask. Here's my answer: I have no clue. It could be a tiny pilot behind my eyes. It could be a speck of nothing inside of my left toe. It could be hidden in a box labeled "mind" buried somewhere in a vacant field. I just googled "vacant field" and apparently it is a band. I bet they suck. Kidding, who knows. But seriously, so many bands suck. You know what else sucks? Waking up with food poisoning! Okay, it might not be food poisoning, but it's close.
Teach! I'm going to finally go through with it. I swear. I am going to work towards getting certified and then if I end up teaching, I end up teaching. If not, I will at least have something to fall back on. I can't not teach - it has been on my mind consistently for almost a decade. Oh dear lord. I started college an entire decade ago. Oh my god god god. I am having a mini-meltdown right now. I am so so so old. What the hell have I been doing with my life these past ten years? Oh, that's right - just blossoming. Kidding, kidding. But not kidding. I am a late bloomer. I believe I went through all of my high school phases while in college. Now that I'm nearing 30, I am ready to enter my 20s! Here's to responsibility and careers and retirement plans and paid vacations and khaki pants from Eddie Bauer!
Earlier I spelled "pilot" about seven different ways until I remembered how to spell it correctly. Piolet. Piolit. Pilit. And so forth. Super sad, really. Feel superior! I am sometimes an idiot.
If you are beautiful, you terrify me.
I watched a Russian film last night called Shadows in Paradise. It was so good! It reminded me of every relationship I have ever had! Go watch it!
Speaking of relationships... Nah. Never mind. Don't wanna go there right now. I am so confused! All the time! Entering my 20s! Time for experimentation! (This coffee has turned against me suddenly. Who decides coffee and nausea go together? An idiot, that's who! But an idiot who has a good heart and means well and is just trying her best and started college a decade ago. That kind of an idiot.)
Maybe I should try to eat something. And sit outside. And read. And take a Valium. Thanks for being so beautiful and terrifying!