Saturday, March 31, 2012


Not caffeinated. Really tired, actually. And a grump grump. What if I said I was a gramp gramp? Like a grandpa. Like I was an old man trapped in a young lady's body? And I had multiple grandchildren that adoringly referred to me as "gramp gramp"? Like that would be freaked up. Like I am censoring this for conference weekend. What if I said I was censoring this for my gramp gramp? And it turns out I was my OWN gramp gramp? According to the multiverse thing that I don't understand, this is a reality on some planet somewhere.

The planet. Hey, planet - remember when I wanted to save you back in the day? Remember how I wanted to save the animals, too? I wanted to save myself from ill health and emotional imbalance as well (thus proper diet, exercise, meditation, early to bed early to rise, etc.). I wanted to do a lot of saving back in the day. That feels like eons ago (not that I necessarily know what an eon even feels like). I feel sadly apathetic these days. Oh no! Hipster cliche that I thought I'd never succumb to is coming true! Oh lordy lord. I just don't find much interesting or worth pursuing these days. And sure, it's kind of fun in a Margot Tenenbaum way for maybe a second, but it soon gets WTGTBE (way too gloomy to be enjoyable). How do I shake myself awake?

I had a nice week. I was in the desert, the mountains, by a salt water lake. I was in multiple motels and dingy diners. I was in the mythland of America. Mythland? I'll explain what I mean later. I will explain all of this later. Or maybe I won't! Because I am sooo apathetic. But I truly am. I feel sad. There. THERE! I said it. Sad and stuck. Her fog and pearls? Her sad and stuck.


errin julkunen-pedersen said...

guess what? it's totally ok to feel apathetic and shitty anytime, but in march, if you have any type of chemical depression problems, you're really gonna feel it, so, know that soon your body will adjust to the shift in light and that you will start feeling better, because there are always things that can makes us feel good/bad/apathetic, but sometimes mother nature is just a dick and makes it harder to cope with the good the bad and the apathy.


meg said...

I love you, Errin. Thanks for your advice and for understanding. The world is a less lonely place for me because you are in it. Sappy! And so true!