My poor body, my poor mind. I won't elaborate (yet), but just trust me on this one.
I remember buying a messenger bag at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney when I was 15 years old. The print on the bag was of the Tibetan Wheel of Life. Weird. I thought the bag was so "edgy" and felt rebellious each time I used it (I had no idea what it was/meant, mind you). Good Mormon girl with a bag that depicted something from some "exotic religion." Yeah. Right on. I wish I knew where that waaay overpriced bag was now.
I think I should have this printed on a picture of some stock photo of a rock climber scaling a rock face: "Decisions: You Make Some That Hurt Those You Love And You Make Some That Don't Hurt Those You Love And Sometimes You Can't Even Make Them." I would hang that poster up on my freaking wall and look at it all the freaking time because it is so freaking true.
I really can't please everyone and it tears me up inside.
So... Meg (me) moving to the Land of Ports (Portland). Your thoughts, please.
I want to write more, but something is stopping me. I don't know what it is. This writer's block needs to go away now.
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4 comments:
"Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it."
~Osho
I may have collected that quote from you. You will know what to do, trust yourself.
meg, glowing heads wouldn't exist without you. serious.
not being able to please everyone absolutely kills me, too. i lead a double life trying to and i still fail, all the time.
not reading, not writing also bothers me. for 15 years my plan was to be a writer and that is so over now.
i say no to portland. i mean, i hear nothing but good things, but it also seems like a huge cliche. it would probably be a huge cliche for me to move to austin, though. maybe i shouldn't worry about cliches. i recommend new york above all other cities, but damn, the money.
i've been on a coffee buzz for the last 5 hours. ouch. i'm not making sense.
move.
once you are out of utah life is put into perspective and lots of things that you cared about suddenly do not matter anymore because you realize how unimportant they actually were.
i'm not even sure if you are having that as an issue. but it is what happens.
move. saying this as if i am a dear friend, when in reality i am just someone who needed to do the same thing and did and never regretted it.
Meg, I love that Osho quote. Thanks for reminding me to trust myself.
Cassie, I know what you mean about Portland being a little bit "cliche." And damn, I wish New York wasn't so damn expensive! Damn, I need to stop using the word "damn" so damn much.
Ariana, I do believe a move will truly help me get at least some perspective on... On everything. I am glad to hear it has worked for you.
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